Monday, 17 October 2011

I've seen it all

Well it's that time of year again or that time of day if you're watching a children's tv channel! That all the toy advertisements are on tv for what seems like every minute and today while watching with my little one I saw an advert for a game, if that's what you can call it, a game called doggie doo! I kid you not this is supposed game is aimed at children 3 and upwards and the aim of the game is to collect dog poo and the person who collects 3 dog poos first wins! Seriously, is it me or is this disgusting?

What's wrong with snakes and ladders or ludo or connect four? Ok maybe I'm showing my age here but those were games!

Picking up pretend dog poo, Erm, No! and as for teaching kids that if you have a pet you have to clean up after it well let me tell you dogs usually don't poop out plasticine, well saying that there was this one time that our dog pooped out an array of technicolour items play dough included but trust me it was no fun to clean up!

Please game makers make nice,fun, hopefully somewhat educational games for our children!

What's next, Guess what's in the vomit? The fun game for all ages!

Erm just in case some sad git does think that's a good idea for a game please remember you saw it here first and though technically disgusting it was my idea!

Er, Erm *rather embarrassed cough* !

Ok I harped on and on about blogging and me time, blah, blah, blah, etc, etc, etc and never did anything about it so I'm apologising saying I'm back hopefully with avengence and without further ado are you sitting comfortably? Yes? Then I'll begin ..........

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Hi, Hello, it's me

I did it again didn't I?

I made a fuss about doing things for myself, making me time, blogging because guess what I actually enjoy it! And what have I done nothing! Nada! Zilch! Well up until now that is and now really is the first step of some well deserved me time!

I shall blog again, I shall find my voice and I shall make some me time!

But that for today at least is all!

Short and sweet!

Some would say just like me!

Well I would say just like me but still that's not the point!

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

40, The gift that keeps on giving!

I've done it again haven't I, I've moaned about not getting time to blog and then after saying that I will make time, I haven't! It been what about 2 weeks since my last post? So much for posting every day! I must try harder!

I am officially crap!

So anyway you know that whole taking care of 'me' thing that I was going to try well I made real quality time for myself and I went to the doctors about my poor aching heel to be told that I have plantar fisciitis a condition most common in women aged 40-60 and athletes so being the fine tuned athlete that I am this can of course be the only reason I'm in pain!

I wish!

He also told me that being over weight can aggravate it so basically what the doctor told me is that my heels hurt because I'm old and fat! Oh the joy!

So I have these lovely exercises to try and if they don't work it's either steroid injections, I have visions of looking like a Russian athlete! A splint because the limp just isn't attractive enough! Or worse case scenario an operation but there are some experimental treatments one involving Botox, I wonder if I could ask them to just pop a few injections around my face while they're at it!

So my limping self is going to sign off for now and try my best to be back soon!

Monday, 12 September 2011

Sometimes life gets in the way!

I once again haven't posted anything in a while and this is getting to be a bit of a bad habit, a pattern if you will but what it basically is, is life getting in the way! I try really I do but between the children, there are 6 of them although some of them are supposed to be adults! The family,the house and everything connected with that time seems to just fly by before I even realise it's gone and all my good intentions, all the things that I enjoy doing seem to just fall by the wayside.

A very good friend of mine (if we were 10 she would be my BFF actually I'm 40 and she is my BFF!) recently told me that I give too much of myself and don't look after 'me' enough and as is usual she was right! She is very wise! The more I thought about it the more I realised that the time that I make purely for me is actually non-existent! I don't even get to have a bath without the little one begging to get in, me time, what is this elusive me time that you speak of and how do you get it? No, seriously I'm asking because I haven't figured it out!

So my mission this week is to try and put myself first sometimes! No, I won't try, I will! And on actually a quite pathetic part to putting myself first I'm off to make a doctors appointment to have my painful heel looked at , an appointment that I've been putting off making for 2 months because I just couldn't get round to it! So no relaxing massage or manicure for my 'me time' no my first step is a doctors appointment! I think I may need a little help with this concept don't you?

Tell me how do you make time for yourself? And do you think it's important?

Thursday, 1 September 2011

So life begins!

It's been a week since I last posted anything, I am once again a bad bad blogger and I do hang my head in shame, no really I do! But in my defence it's been a busy busy week!

And let's not forget I celebrated/commiserated my birthday the big one, the one life is said to begin at, the big giant 4 0! Yes thats right I am now officially 40! I know don't look a day over 39, right?

And I celebrated this momentous occasion with the dignity, grace and style befitting a lady of my years......that's right, I got blind stinking drunk!

It was supposed to be just a nice BBQ for family and friends but my family and friends all know me very well and brought copious amounts of alchol it would have been rude not to drink it now wouldn't it!

What I remember of it was fantastic I had 4 cakes! Yes 4, see my family and friends do really know me, cake and wine and a happy me!

Lots of laughs were had, Lots of food was eaten, LOTS of drink was drank and now all we have to see is if life really does begin at 40!

So tell me did yours?

Thursday, 25 August 2011

The joy that is the School holidays!

I have just noticed what a poor month I've had blogging wise, just 9 posts well 10 now and the only difference this month is school holidays! I never quite realised how much time is taken up by the children I know that sounds a bit weird parenting is a full time job after all but what I mean is when they're at school you manage your time better or at least I manage my time better, how presumptious of me to assume it's the same for you, please tell me it is the same for you? Please? I would hate to think that I'm the only one who struggles with time and routine during the holidays!

The thing is apart from the little one the others are teenagers they should be entertaining themselves surely?

It just seems all routine goes out the window and twice as much work for me happens, something not right there, I may go on strike, mums have rights too! I may make a placard and a picket line across the kitchen door chanting, "what do we want? A clean house! When do we want it? Now!" that would get their attention or perhaps just sit and watch the washing up pile up no one seems to have figured out how to load and unload the dishwasher I think they still believe in the cleaning fairy!

But it's not just the added cleaning and shopping because you're constantly running out of bread, milk and cereal (or is that just my house?) its that they all hog the computer, laptop, iPads etc etc when they're indoors and as we haven't had the best summer we've been indoors a lot! So finding a time slot for me to do anything has been difficult to say the least!

Still back to school soon then I'll be moaning about the early mornings and getting them out of the house on time, oh the joys!

Well, I'm off now to make a placard and perhaps a banner if I can just find the time and a marker!

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Well it is 3 F's I suppose!

So a while ago I set myself this challenge to be Fit and Fabulous by Forty and that time is almost here 4 days away in fact and I have achieved 3 F's! That's right I'm Fat, Fabulous and Forty! (well almost!) I know not quite the 3 F's I was going for but in the immortal words of Meatloaf (The singer that is, not the food, that would just be weird!) "2 out of 3 ain't bad!" and I have dropped a dress size.

But through all this my aim really was to get out of that rut that most mothers seem to end up in especially when you have a toddler of jeans and t shirts day in day out and saying that I am sat writing this in jeans and a t shirt! But they are a little more stylish and a size smaller so don't judge me!

All that being said I have learnt that a little time spend on myself does make me feel better, I now remember to brush my hair every day (if you know me you know what an achievement this is!), I wear make up more than once a month and I have a fabulous new hair cut and colour, I even shave my legs when I'm not getting them out in public!

And the end result is I feel more like 'ME' not just someone's mum, ok the diet never quite worked out, what can I say, I love to cook and I love to eat!

I have exercised more, feel a little healthier and intend to carry this on and if I lose a little more weight along the way that'll be great too.

So on Sunday I shall be just fabulous and forty and I'm ok with that! So now let's see if life really does begin at forty!

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Some things I've learnt!

I thought I would share with you a few life lessons I've learnt over the years otherwise known as 'sods law' in no particular order

1. If you have actually manage to clean your entire house you will get No visitors

2. On the day your house is a complete pigsty, clothes and toys everywhere and you're still wearing your pyjamas, hair unbrushed and spilt coffee down your front everyone will turn up for a visit!

3. If you want your children to be quiet well behaved little things, say at a wedding during the speeches they will announce in their loudest voice "I need a poo now" (happened last week)

4. Likewise when you're bragging about your child and how clever they are they will choose that moment to forget every damn thing that you've just told the person they can do!

5. If you are in a rush to leave the house you will lose your keys, purse, hairbrush or shoes or as quite often in my case all of the above!

6. That one pair of shoes that you've had your eye on for ages but couldn't justify spending that much money will go on sale but they won't have your size!

7.The doorbell/phone will ring just after you relax into the bath

8. Your toast will land butter side down

9. You will miss your mouth spilling hot tea down your best outfit just before you leave for that important meeting

10. If you have to get somewhere quickly there will be a traffic jam

11. Your child will be fine at home and then the minute you get in a packed supermarket throw up everywhere! (happened yesterday)

These are just a few to be getting on with, I will add more as I think of them or more likely as they happen to me!

So please tell me yours

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Reincarnation, My only hope for a peaceful life!

In my next life I'm coming back as a dog!

Not just any dog a male pampered pooch, perhaps even American, they seem to really go a bit crazy over their pets!

I made this decision after the day from hell yesterday , I did not get a break! by time eveyones elses needs were met and everything was done my only me time was sleeping! In short yesterday sucked!

I decided it has to be an animal as I definitely don't want the life of a person, whoever coined the phrase "it's a dogs life" obviously never thought about the fact the dogs have it bloody easy fed, walked, all they have to do all day is decide who or what to bark at, chase their tails a little, maybe dig a hole or 2, sleep, eat and occasionally lick their balls! I'd say a dog has a pretty good life!

Me on the other hand had to put up with mess, 6 loads of laundry, fighting kids, toddler going through terrible two's, cooking, cleaning, dishwasher loaded twice not to mention going shopping then back to do pretty much all of the same again!

No I do not want to be a woman having to deal with children or men all that whining! then theres the children!

So the way I look at it right now my only chance for a peaceful life is what I come back as in the next one!

so what do you intend to come back as and why?

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Oh London my home

I started writing this post yesterday and so far I have changed my mind, re-written, scrapped completely, felt like I was exploited a situation to my advantage f you know what I mean? and now I feel able to try and start again.

My initial thoughts were obviously about the riots, the impact on our communities, the mindless violence the excuses offered, then I thought I would write from my perspective, what I saw, I live in Peckham about 2 minutes walk from the front line of the violence and looting, I felt scared, I felt threatened and I couldn't comprehend why these people would do this especially on their own doorsteps.

Then I thought about the reasons, the initial trouble started in response to the death of a young man, It started as a protest, people wanting answers, It escalated and people took advantage of a situation and used it to benefit themselves and get 'Free Stuff'.

Then violence and mindless destruction started all over London, then other cities followed it wasn't for a cause it was about greed! they saw people get away with it and they thought I want some of that!

I'm not saying that all involved were merely out for what they could get, I'm sure some felt that this was a way of getting back, a way of venting mass frustration but on the whole it was GREED and a total lack of humanity, I wondered about pack mentality as opposed to the individual actions but that's not what I decided to write about it this is........

Messages of love and support for Peckham

They may have destroyed our shops and left our communities confused but people care, I walked through Peckham today and the shops that were still boarded up damaged beyond believe had signs on the boards saying 'Business as usual' they had opened regardless in what must be a climate of fear for themselves and their shops, their livelihoods and I felt pride , I felt really emotional after all this devastation Peckham stood up and said you can't shut us down!

Peckham was quiet, people still nervous I'm sure but it was open! all except those shops that sustained serious damage.

And for what I think is the first time I felt truly proud of the area that I live.

Friday, 5 August 2011


Hello , Just wanted to let you all know that I am still here but I'm having a particularly stressful time and not quite sure what I want to write about as there is just so much going on for me right now.

So for right here, right now I'm off to have a bottle glass of wine, watch some mindless television and try to calm down and relax!

Oh and I have a wedding to go to tomorrow so may not get on here then either

So Bye for now and if you feel like a chat please say Hello! I really could do with a friendly ear or even just a chat about complete nonsense!

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

The incredible bearded lady!

I woke up this morning to find one solitary long black hair growing out of my chin! MY CHIN! Seriously is it not bad enough that I'm turning forty this month, do I have to turn into the incredible bearded lady as well! I suppose at least it would keep the children entertained if you read my previous post you'll understand! They could charge admission to see me it would solve the whole spending money issue too!

Why aren't we told these things as young women, why aren't we warned that unless we take care of our bodies we will develop bingo wings, crepey skin, stretch marks, saggy boobs seriously forget telling kids not to eat crap because of obesity play on their vanity just show them a picture or me and and that'll scare them in to healthy eating and exercise!

I can't help but wonder if no one tells you about these things as a kind of revenge for losing their young agile facial hair free bodies, I can picture my mother now smiling to herself as she watched me smiling and laughing, happily getting ready to go out thinking " ha you're all smiles now with your toned legs, boobs on your chest and hair free face but just wait 25 years from now when your boobs hang like pendulums, have stretch marks that look like a road map and a full circus beard, we'll see who's smiling then!"

Ok, I'm sure that's my mind doing that thing it does but seriously why aren't we warned? perhaps all of you were? perhaps it was just me who was kept in the dark about all these lovely side affects of ageing, you tell me? Were you warned? And do you tell your daughters about the possible perils of ageing?

Please let me know!

Well I'm off now to shave and buy my daughters waxing vouchers for when they turn 40!

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Summer Holidays

So the summer helidays holidays are once again upon us and so far I've had a barrage of I'm bored from teenagers

My responses "clean your room, it would be nice to know you had a floor" apparently that's not entertainment! "Ok, how about you entertain yourself then?" apparently this is not actually possible and the parent is supposed to entertain at all times! I did offer to dance or juggle perhaps but was told that I was just being silly now!

Seriously I can't win!

The other problem I have is because I have a broad age range to appeal to and appease it's difficult to come up with a one activity/day out fits all so, so far there has been a lot of swimming and sending teens off to friends so they can be bored at someone else's house, cinema, always a winner and of course when they've whined enough or done enough to earn some money, shopping! The teenage girls favourite but it would be nice to find something that we can all do together that everyone would enjoy, is there such a place? If so then I need to know about it! Oh and it mustn't cost a fortune, in fact preferably it must be free!

So what do you do with your brood?

Can you please everyone?

So if you'll excuse me until you all bombard me with ideas, PLEASE BOMBARD ME! I'm off to don my jesters hat before I hear "Muuummmm!!!!!" again

Thursday, 28 July 2011

What a day!

I spent hours at the hospital today, I mean hours! Or should I say we spent hours, we were at the hospital because my daughter has had a migraine for 3 months! I kid you not my poor daughter has been in pain every day and after a barrage of tests and trials and errors with various medication she is still in pain and even after our very long wait at the hospital all they can say is they are pretty sure it's migraine and if none of the medication works she may just have to learn to live with it!

She's 14 it's affecting her schooling, her life and the best they can offer is try these and if they don't work she'll have to find ways of dealing with it and even after all my questions all my protests that there must be more they can do that's all we walked away with!

So if anyone has any and I mean any ideas I really would love to hear we really are desperate!

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Forty! The Big 4 0!

I woke up this morning in a cold sweat , no, not the menopause, though...... who knows, it could be after all in a month I'm going to be 40!

I know I've been going on about it a lot but seriously it's bugging me in a big big oh my god how did I get this old kind of a way!

You see 40 is that age where you're supposed to have your shit together you're supposed to be well on your career path, your life should really be the life you want but hell I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up!

I've done the conventional stuff I've got married 'er hmm twice!' I've had my children, I've been a responsible adult , school governor, grown up person type etc on the outside but on the inside I'm still trying to decide if I want to be a ballerina or an astronaut!

Does anyone else no what I mean? please tell me someone else does otherwise it may just confirm that I am actually insane!

The thing is by now I was supposed to be a best selling author ok I know actually writing a book might help toward this goal but still

I know they say its never too late but where do you start if you're not completely content with your lot?

Or is this just a midlife crisis talking?

Don't get me wrong I rather like my life , I love my kids but I can't help wondering "is there more?" well "IS THERE?" Seriously I'm asking?

Then there's the question of how to celebrate this birthday, I told everyone I didn't want a big fuss but of course I actually meant can you make a great big giant fuss I'm 40 after all!

So now I'm torn and not quite sure how to mark the occasion so suggestions on a post card please

Or you could just leave me a comment

How did you? or How will you celebrate your big 4 0

Apparently digging a hole, lying in it ,holding flowers saying "that's it now" isn't an option!

so I need your suggestions!

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

Zaggora Hotpants

So never one to pass up a freebie or chance to try anything to lose weight and tone up, a while a go I applied to be an ambassador for Zaggora Hotpants.

And my Hotpants turned up!

They would like all their 'ambassadors' to try them for 2 weeks, see the results and basically report back to the world on their effectiveness, so that's just what I did!

I would post a picture of myself in them but lets be honest no one really wants that, now do they?

The Hotpants are designed to help you achieve more with less, maximising your workout and attacking those areas that we all want to look better! It says that they are Super comfortable, you can wear them indoors, outdoors, in bed at night or during the day, on their own or under your gear.

Specially designed with Celu‐Lite™ technology, they work to reduce body fat and the visible appearance of cellulite by using your natural body heat to warm your muscles by increasing your perspiration with the effect of potentially reducing 2 jean sizes in 2 weeks. 

So when they turned up I thought is this the miracle I've been looking for?

They look sleek ,comfortable and practical and kind of reminded me of a wetsuit you know that neoprene type fabric.

My exercise of choice is Zumba, yoga and running so I though I'd go straight to it with some Zumba!

But first I had to get in to them! It was a little tricky to get the zip up but once on they fitted perfectly, were comfortable and offered ease of movement.

In fact the only downside to them is the noise they make when you're moving! My bottom half sounded like my Zumba sticks! I sounded like human maracas! but that being said I did feel like I got a better work out and they certainly made me sweat!

The science behind the pants is all on their website, its very interesting but lets face all you want to know is "did they work?"

Well yes they did! I have dropped a jean size! which is great but the noise that the pants make is a bit embarrassing to wear them to a class so I shall only be wearing them at home but I am going to keep on trying with them and if you'd like to try them too just use the offer code below to get 10% off!

Monday, 25 July 2011

100 not out

This , this right here right now is my 100th post!

I feel it should be something monumental!

Something that will get you thinking, stand the tests of time be the post that kicks all other posts ass!

But at the moment my one and only post about Hot Guys and crushes is still kicking all my other posts asses! so what to do?

Since I started my blog I have covered many issues , life, parenting, body image, knife crime, recipes and reviews to name but a few and what does everyone look at..........Hot Guys and Girls but mainly guys!

So in honour of that post and to celebrate my 100th post I give you ...........

Justin Chambers

Ian Somerhalder
And of course........
Jesse Williams

Not to mention........
Eric Dane

And last but by no means least ......

Justin Timberlake

Honestly the lengths I go to for you! The hard, hard work I had to do looking at all these hot guys!

And yet I still only have 7 followers! what is wrong with you people?

Friday, 22 July 2011

How old is too old?

I brave this question because tonight I'm going to a gig with one of my daughters not as an adult accompanying a minor kind of way, although that's what everyone things! No! I not so secretly love Wretch 32, the daughter who I'm going with didn't even know who he was but wanted to see the other 2 artists on the bill!

But it made me think technically this is young music for young people, right? But I think music is subjective, it's about what you like, what moves your soul, what makes you want to get up and dance or sing along.

I love music! My taste is eclectic, there is no particular type I know what I like and I like it! That simple!

I have favourites of course but they don't fit one particular style of music , I love Jason Mraz (ok, I admit he is my absolute favourite) , Billie Holiday, The Foo Fighters, Green Day, Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, Debussey and they are top of my playlist but I love so much more ,I love Drum and Bass, I love Garage  and I've seen Usher, Adele and Glee live this year, see Eclectic! Or insane!

But back to my dilemma how old is too old to go to the gigs? And what does one wear? Do I try to fit in and potentially end up looking like mutton dressed up as lamb? Or just wear whatever takes my mood? Oh the dilemma!

So what are your favourites? Do you think music is age specific? And more importantly how old is too old?

Thursday, 21 July 2011

Toddler taming..... Really

I have a toddler and anyone who has a toddler knows that they go through a stage commonly known as the Terrible Two's!!!!!!!!

And my toddler is trying to break the record for being the most terrible of two year olds! I think that there may be a secret organisation of 2 year olds and she is competing to be the Don! If this is the case trust me she is going to win!

She goes from cute and adorable to Tasmanian devil in a matter of seconds! No surface left uncluttered or covered in paint, food and god, I hope that's chocolate!

I'm not an inexperienced mother she is the youngest of 6 but she has found new and exciting ways to test my patience and make sure that underneath my bright red hair my real hair is actually grey!

And so now to the reason I wrote this post I decided to do a little search on the Internet for some tips on dealing with a particularly high maintenance 2 year old and I came across a book called Toddler Taming! Seriously all I can think of is standing there with an upturned chair in one hand whip in the other shouting back back! I know some toddlers are bad but really!

Anyway of course I ordered the book!

Though seriously I've always thought that toddlers behave this way because they're learning, they're learning about the world around them, learning about boundaries and it's our job to lead by example and show them how to behave.

But all that being said it never hurts to have some tips on dealing with those tantrums or how to get the green felt-tip out of everything! So what are your tips with dealing with toddlers?

I'd love to hear

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

An ode to Boobs!

I was lay there on the floor today, colouring with my daughter when I happened to look down and caught sight of something that was enough to make me scream in horror!

What  am I talking about? ........My Boobs! what used to be one of my favourite features, My glorious 36E boobs have somehow turned into saggy, crepey, scary, wrinkled old woman boobs!

When , when did this happen ? why didn't I notice?

My first thought was quick get me the number of a good plastic surgeon its time to get these puppies filled out and lifted then I looked at my gorgeous little girl and realised that theses were the boobs that fed her, that helped her grow, the same boobs that I have fed all seven of my children with, the same boobs that a few years ago when I found a small lump I was absolutely terrified I might lose so what am I doing even thinking about changing them or even enhancing them they are part of me they tell my story, well almost

Stop picturing talking boobs immediately and focus!!

Boobs , breasts, tits, fun bags, the twins, the girls, basoomas, bosoms call them what you will, all us women have them, they come in many sizes and shapes some of us love our boobs some hate them but they are ours!

The cosmetic surgery industries bread and butter is boobs, with most wanting them bigger or higher! personally although I've never had to worry about being small chested I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to walk around with 2 huge watermelons on my chest or being able to rest my chin on them! really is that attractive?

Can I just say to everyone who thinks its brilliant to have big boobs it took me a while to realise that they weren't my enemy, let me tell you! I developed early and actually had to wear a bra in my last year of primary school can you imagine the horror and the teasing! my life was unbearable, so I covered them up, I hid my assets until I realised that's what they could be!

 They're part of our package if you will, they're what helps entice our future partners in and they nurture our young so we should love them, embrace them, check them regularly and care for them

So although I am sad and disappointed that my milkshake may not bring all the boys to the yard! I am grateful that I still have them, I am happy that stood upright and wearing a good bra they still look pretty darn impressive and I shall stop lamenting the loss of my once pert full breasts and make sure that I'm never in a position that anyone will see them from the same angle that I saw them!

Although, if someone has come up with something brilliant and non evasive to help them be restored to their former glory I am more than willing to give it a try!

An Ode to Boobs by Pip Bishop

Dear boobs,
This heartfelt apology goes out to you all
For moaning you’re too big or moaning you’re too small
For wishing you didn’t hang like puppies in sacks
Or just disappear when we lie on our backs
For squashing you flat with a minimising cup
or those torture bras that push you right up.
Why is it always your bad points we mention
Like your inverted nips or your water retention?
Why don’t we love you as much as our men
Or the babies that love you all over again?
Maybe we’re scared to show you we care
In case... one day... you’re simply not there.

Boobs everywhere I salute you!

And then my mind went blank!

You would think with all that is going on in the world at the moment I would be able to come up with a thought provoking yet witty blog post

But can I ? can I heck as like! I am drawing a complete blank, not in the physical sense I don't even know how I would portray a blank something like this perhaps?

Get it? Blank Paper, pathetic I know!

I'm talking about  in coming up with something to write about kind of way !

Everyone and their Dog(I love that expression the paintings of C.M Coolidge always come to mind when I say it! I did mention I have a weird mind didn't I?) is writing about the phone hacking scandal and Rupert Murdoch, so I just didn't want to go there, too obvious for me.

So I'm right back to where I was a few days ago or was it longer? where there are so many topics that I want to write about that I can't seem to give my full attention to any of them!

So I have come up with a plan not a very exciting plan but a plan all the same I am going to go through all my started Blog Posts and guess what..Finish them!

It may mean that you get some pretty random stuff but i think it will help clear my mind and move on and perhaps just maybe even write something worth reading!

Saturday, 16 July 2011

A weighty issue

Many moons ago I told you all (sounds like I have hundreds of readers! that would be nice by the way!) how I wanted to be fit and fabulous by time I'm forty! I called it my 3 F's challenge got myself all psyched up started wearing actual clothes other than jeans and a tee, brushed my hair at least once a day, when I can find the hair brush of course! I even wear make-up now and have bought myself new clothes but one thing that has been my nemesis is weight! Who am I kidding it's homemade cakes, bread and red wine that have been my nemesis or rather my lack of will power to stop eating them! I even joined WeightWatchers with the theory that if I was accountable to someone else I would be good and lose weight but the only pounds I've lost are the 20 quid a month that it costs me to weigh myself in front of people and be told I weigh the same! Ok not strictly true I've actually lost 7lb but that's in 9 weeks! that's how little willpower I have! And the amazing thing is I've doubled the amount of exercise I do in an attempt to get fit, I walk ALOT now , I Zumba I even attempted the gym yet my weight loss is pathetic which leads me to believe that I'm actually eating more than I was before or my own body is trying to sabotage me!

Couldn't be my fault after all!

Even illness didn't aid my weight loss I had the chest infection from hell, I'm still coughing but still managed to shovel enough food in to stop me losing any weight!

I've been off the wine for a week now because of the antibiotics but even that hasn't helped.

It just doesn't make sense!

So with the realisation that I turn 40 in just over a month I am going to step up my game make sure I note everything that I'm eating, food eaten while walking does count apparently as does food pinched off the kids plates! I know right who'd have thought it!

So I want to be accountable to all of you who read this, ask me how I'm doing, keep me in check remind me that just because wine is made from grapes it's not one of my 5 a day! And ask me in a weeks time if I've lost any weight!

Thursday, 14 July 2011

It's been a while, I've missed you!

As you may or may not know it's been a little while since I did a real blog post this has been down to having the chest infection from hell and my own special brand of crazy!

Now I'm not talking sitting on the front lawn throwing poo at the neighbours that would the real men in White coats bringing me a special jacket to wear crazy! No, this is more the way my brain works and how I convince myself something is logical kind of crazy!

The few days before this chest infection really hit me I started five yes five different blogposts while I've been I'll I've attempted to start around another 5 but they were mostly a medication induced incoherent mess, nothing unusual there I hear you say

So anyway I kept started theses posts some of which were about Going to see Adele and being made to wait outside for 2 hours decided to put that little rant on hold and started one on the appalling start of public transport this then got sidetracked by a review of zaggora Hotpants which I received( thanks by the way Zaggora, I will start that review!) this made me think about my 3 F's challenge so I started a post on my failure weight loss wise then my cat went into labour and decided to eschew her nice warm safe place that I had ready for her and promptly gave birth in the middle of the kitchen floor which gave way to screaming from the men in my house who were in blind panic which started me on a post about men's inability to cope with something as natural as birth this also started me on a post about my 23 year old son moving back home after a breakdown of his relationship, funny expression that 'breakdown of relationship' conjures up images of AA type breakdown services turning up to repair your relationship and get you back on the road! Well in my head it does, see crazy! Then I felt ill, really ill which started me on a post about going to the doctors, which I never do or should I now say never normally do.

And now here is my special brand of crazy I convinced myself that because I kept starting posts and not finishing them that it made more sense to wait until I could decide which one to commit to and therefore I ending up with nothing,nada,zilch makes so much sense doesn't it? ......NOT!

And now that I've read all this back to my self I can't help wondering if I have ADD! Maybe I should start a post about it!

Thursday, 7 July 2011

Ghost the musical

'Relive one of Hollywood’s most romantic yet tragic love stories live on stage with Ghost the Musical. Adapted from the 1990 Oscar Award winning film starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg, Ghost the Musical breathes new life into this classic story of love and loss.
The story follows Sam and Molly, who on their way back to their apartment one night are confronted by a mugger who leaves Sam wounded and dying in the street. Unable to leave Molly behind and let her go, Sam is trapped as a ghost between this world and the next and when he discovers that Molly is in grave danger he must do everything he can to find a way to communicate with her.
Enter Oda Mae Brown, a storefront psychic who claims to be able to hear the dead, but never has done. That is until Sam arrives looking for help and for the first time in her life she can hear the dead. Sam must convince Oda Mae Brown to listen to him and try and get her to talk to Molly and warn her of the danger she is in before it is too late.’
Many thanks

That was the press release I was sent to along with my tickets, but I can't think of many people that won't know the story of Ghost and I can't think of many people, especially people in my age group that didn't love the movie but would it translate well to a Musical that was my big question, I couldn't quite figure out how they would produce the necessary affects let alone put the script to song!

So last night I headed out to the Piccadilly Theatre to see!

This production features music and lyrics by Dave Stewart(Eurythmics) and Glen Ballard and it wouldn't be 'Ghost' if id didn't contain Unchained Melody!

The show is directed my Matthew Warchus, has set and costume design by Rob Howell, illusions are by Paul Kieve and Musical Supervisor and Arranger is Christopher Nightingale.

Lead roles in the London cast are Richard Fleeshman in the rile of Sam Wheat, Caissie Levy in the role Molly Jensen, Sharon D. Clarke in the role of Oda Mae Brown and Andrew Langtree in the role of Carl Bruner.

Well as I said at the start I wasn't sure how this would translate to music and I really didn't know what to expect but let me start by saying that the set, the visual affects and illusions are outstanding! I mean really outstanding, The use of computer imagery combined with traditional set is inspired, the illusions leave you wondering how? the changes seamless I really cannot rate the set highly enough, however unfortunately I felt that the show itself was lacking somewhat I can't quite put my finger on why though, The story didn't stray that far from the original, The cast can sing and I mean really sing! all had beautiful strong voices that were a pleasure to listen to unfortunately I didn't find the songs themselves that strong I didn't walk away from the theatre with the ability to sing one let alone hum the tune , lyrically I found some of them quite weak and the subway scene the poorest of all, the rap was just 'wrong' of course this is just my opinion and others may love it.

The iconic pottery wheel scene I feel was under played but the acting was good in fact all the actors did an incredible job.

The choreography was good I could see what the choreographer was trying to achieve some of the dancers however didn't seem at ease with the steps.

The real joy of the show for me was Sharon  D Clarke her performance of Oda Mae was Outstanding! and the voices of the cast rarely have I heard such strong voices, truly enjoyable

The final scenes and affects were spectacular.

All in all it was a good show with a full house and it received a standing ovation for me personally I'm glad I went, I did enjoy it but ticket prices what they are for this show if I had paid to see it I would have been a little disappointed.

If I had to rate this musical out of 5, I would give it a 4 but I have to say that is mainly for the visual affects and illusions and the singing.

But what I can say is I now want to watch Ghost the movie, ah, the late great Patrick Swayze *quietly hums unchained melody*

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Age is just a number!

Hah! and once again Hah!

You're as old as you feel, Age is just a number but its very dependant on what that number is!

For example when you're small you celebrate every little increment in age you ask a small child how old they are and they will happily tell you how old they are down to the last minute, anything to get closer to that next birthday ask a 49 year old and they will tell you just 49 right up until the day before they turn 50! Me if you ask me how old I am I will tell you the truth but quite often I will be 21 with 18 years experience!

We celebrate our age milestones, becoming a teenager, sweet 16's, turning 18 then 21 then we start working up in decades and they can become anxious and far less enjoyable and far more difficult to deal with!

I'm 40 this year and I don't quite know how I feel about it, inside I still have the same feelings and insecurities I had as a 16 year old though outwardly to the world is a very different story!

Now the thing about turning 40 (brings a lump to my throat every time I say it accompanied by a panic of how did I get this old without noticing) for me is combination of wanting to celebrate , wanting to be made to feel special and enjoy this milestone mixed with oh god where did the time go , 40 is soooo old! How could I have got to this age without accomplishing anything but motherhood! Oh woe is me my life is over it's all down hill from here!

So today I'm asking you all how you feel about ageing? What do you think are the big milestones? What's the best age? And the biggest and most important question of them all, Does life begin at 40?

So please everyone let me know

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Is it inappropriate?

I have a question that I need to put out there to the blogging world, How many Bloggers with children of an age that read your blog still talk candidly about sex and the such like?

More accurately your own sex Life? My god I can just see my children's expressions now, they freak out if we dare to kiss in public! "Eurgh, no PDA's, no PDA's we're going to go blind!" that's the usual response from my children so can you imagine the response if I dared to mention my sex life!

I may scar them for life!

Probably too late for the big teenagers, I'm sure I've already damaged them!

But this is my blog written for me and about me, should I be censoring what I write in fear or consideration of who might be reading it?

So I'm asking everyone who reads this to tell me , how far is too far? Go on don't be shy, I really need your opinions

Monday, 4 July 2011

The Big Feastival and a lovely weekend

I have had a lovely busy weekend, filled with enjoyable things rather than the usual catch up on laundry, cleaning and kids stuff and I realised that the world does not actually fall apart if I'm not here doing everything!

My weekend started on Friday Afternoon with The Big Feastival!

The Big Feastival is hosted and organised my the wonderful Mr Jamie Oliver and according to its website The Big Feastival is the first of its kind: a summer festival combining top-class food with the world’s best live music and the best and most amazing thing is 'all' yes I did say all the profits go to charity!

The charities supported by this event are The Prince’s Trust is a charity for 14 to 30-year-olds who have struggled at school, have been in care, are long-term unemployed or have been in trouble with the law. Through practical and financial support, The Trust helps young people develop the skills they need for successful employment, education and training.
The Prince’s Trust ‘Get into’ programme is a series of short vocational courses in sectors such as cooking and hospitality. Last year, 1,837 disadvantaged young people took part in a ‘Get into’ programme and 74% of those who completed the course achieved positive outcomes including employment, further education or training and voluntary work.
The Prince’s Trust other key activity is ‘Get Started’, a programme of arts and music designed to engage young people who are significantly alienated from education, training and employment and lack the confidence, motivation or skills to move forward. ‘Get Started with Music’ gives young people unique opportunities such as working with professional musicians and developing their skills in vocals, instruments or music technology. Last year, 76% of the 1,238 people who took part in a ‘Get Started’ programme achieved positive outcomes.
The Jamie Oliver Foundation who's mission is to empower, educate and engage as many people as possible to love and enjoy good food. This means learning how to cook, understanding where food comes from, and recognizing the power it can have on our health, happiness, and even finances. We do this through teaching, training and employment, and also by making good clear information available to as many people as possible. The Jamie Oliver Foundation is a registered charity .
The Foundation is governed by a board of trustees who have been recruited on the basis of their shared passion – that food can make an empowering and lasting difference to the lives of every person. To date, the Foundation has worked with a range of ages, from kids as young as four to the elderly.
Jamie is the driving force behind the Jamie Oliver Foundation. Under the UK Foundation, there are three charity activities:
  • Fifteen’s Apprentice Programme
  • Jamie’s School Projects
  • Jamie’s Ministry of Food

Fifteen’s Apprentice Programme

In 2002 Jamie founded ‘Fifteen’, a restaurant group that uses the magic of food to give unemployed young people a chance for a better future. The group is made up of three restaurants: the flagship Fifteen London (established in 2002), Fifteen Amsterdam (in 2004) and Fifteen Cornwall (in 2006).
At the heart of the business is a desire to encourage young people to believe in themselves, to show each one of them their past can be left behind and persuade them that they can create their own future. Every year, each restaurant takes on unemployed and under-qualified young people in the local area and trains them to become qualified chefs through a unique Apprentice Programme.
To date, more than 220 apprentices have graduated, many of whom have carved out successful careers in the restaurant industry all over the world. In fact, a 2002 graduate, Tim Siadatan, was named as one of the ‘Top 10 Young Chefs in Europe’ by The Wall Street Journal, following the opening of his restaurant, Trullo.

Jamie’s School Projects

In 2005, Jamie’s Channel 4 television series ‘Jamie’s School Dinners’ highlighted the poor quality of meals provided by the majority of UK schools. Jamie’s ‘Feed Me Better’ campaign, which ran alongside the series, led to major investment by the government as well as policy changes to improve school food. 

After Jamie took a petition with more than 271,000 signatures to 10 Downing Street, asking for major changes to what children were fed in school, £280 million of investment was promised and the School Food Trust was set up to help improve the quality of school food.
Jamie continues his campaigning role in relation to the school food agenda: watch this space as work continues behind the scenes on the School Kitchen Garden project.

Jamie’s Ministry of Food

In 2008, Jamie launched his Ministry of Food campaign with the aim of getting people cooking again. He wanted to encourage people to share their cooking skills and teach their friends what they had learnt. The campaign was inspired by a nutritional programme during the Second World War in which cookery teachers offered the population help and advice, to make sure people knew how to feed themselves properly.
When Jamie set out to make the Ministry of Food TV series, he wanted to prove that anyone could learn to cook – and that it was fun, cool, could save them money and help their family and friends to live healthier lives.
To date, there are three Ministry of Food centres in the UK, and one mobile outreach programme. A further two centres are due to open in late 2011. In late 2010, a Ministry of Food subsidiary was launched in Ipswich, Australia, in partnership with ‘The Good Guys’. The centres are places where local people can learn the basics of cooking and get friendly advice on recipes, ingredients, menu-planning and nutrition, and how to make good, simple meals on a tight budget.

From the minute we got there to the minute we left we had nothing but an enjoyable time, this was the first Festival or Feastival that I've been to that I truly felt was as family friendly as it said it was and with children under 12 able to attend for free and 12 to 17 year olds only charged £25 a ticket and that included 3 dishes of food! for the adults there was the choice of standard entry with all dishes at £5 each or VIP which included 5 dishes an exclusive VIP area plus unlimited wine, beer, soft drinks and BBQ all day!

The atmosphere was lovely , the Common was kept clean even the toilets were kept stocked with toilet tissue and cleaned something rare for most festivals!

As well as the pop-up restaurants and food stalls there were cooking demonstrations , wine tasting, Romany Caravan complete with tarot and palm reading, The little dudes den for children which had it all art, crafts, entertainment, face painting even a quiet reading area!

And there was my daughters favourite The Fairground! Beautifully traditional rides safe for children of all ages and all FREE! My little ones favourite was the Ferris Wheel she's very adventurous for a 2 year old!

The ranges of food, the smells, the tastes all amazing we tried Malaysian food with delicious chicken satay and roti, beautiful fresh seafood, gourmet burgers, amazing gellato and of course BBQ ! 

Then on to the entertainment! before the headline act 'Soul II Soul' Jamie Oliver came on stage to thank everyone for coming, explain a bit more about the charities and where the proceeds would go and then introduce the Brilliant Soul II Soul! I did try to upload a video but technology hates me! though I will try again later!

We danced, we enjoyed the music and the atmosphere , we enjoyed more food and all in all had the most fabulous day and hopefully this wasn't just a one off and it will be on again next year as I can really see this going from strength to strength there was definitely room for growth and I can see this becoming one of the big Festivals or should I say Feastivals!

 *all information about the charities supported was taken from The Big Feastival Website

Thursday, 30 June 2011

Some tlc for my Hayfever Courtesy of Kleenex

I do not suffer from Hayfever! I stamp my foot in sheer defiance that I will not accept the fact that I have Hayfever, how can I possibly have developed Hayfever at 39! it's just not fair!

That's what I tweeted earlier this week, or words to that affect and the lovely people at Kleenex or @KleenexHayfever if you're on Twitter, heard my cry of disbelief and upset at the very thought of Hayfever and sent me a link to a Hayfever checklist and guess what I checked every box! Itchy eyes, sneezing, blocked nose, itchy ears and headache I have 'em all!

So I responded to @KleenexHayfever to thank them for the checklist and tell them yes indeed, I do have Hayfever and they offered to send me a Hayfever Survival pack! How lovely!

It arrived today, a beautifully packaged present of helpful loveliness! My gorgeous gift box came with a gel eye mask, ideal for cooling tired itchy eyes, lip and nose balm (does exactly what it says on the tin!)a lovely supply of Kleenex tissues, some teabags, a very affective little battery operated fan, a little Frisbee and a lavender oil pulse point to aid relaxation and reduce stress, this is particularly nice and I used it straight away!

So now with all this to hand although finding developing Hayfever at this time in my life extremely annoying and horrible it might make it all a little bit more bearable so thank you Kleenex!

Tuesday, 28 June 2011


On Saturday night my eldest daughter and I went to see Glee live at the O2, now I love Glee but I wasn't sure how well it would translate to live concert.

For those that haven't been to the O2, it is an amazing venue, absolutely massive and filled with experiences, bars and restaurants, ok everything apart from the chains that are in there are a bit overpriced but for a venue like that unfortunately you come to expect that from such places but why seriously I know you have a captive audience so to speak( see now I have images of being held prisoner in the O2 being held against my will until I buy all their overpriced merchandise, " you will buy that silly key-ring at a silly price and then throw it in a drawer never to look at again! or you will never leave here! I have explained how my brain works haven't I?)but surely if you charged reasonable prices people would buy more, they'd feel better about what they'd been able to buy and you'd probably make a bigger profit! Or am I just being silly? Oh and don't get me started on the tickets prices!!! Ggrrrr! That's the sound of anger and annoyance by the way not me pretending to be a tiger , that's more of a raaarrrr! Just for clarification, anyway back to Glee!

So like I said I love Glee, I love the cast, I love the songs and I love the story lines but how would the show compare? Well let me tell you it was bloody brilliant! They have amazing voices, amazing stage presence especially Chris Colfer, he is now firmly on my crushes you shouldn't have list! And Mark Salling aka Puck if you ever feel like you'd like an older English lady, I'm right here baby!

They performed well known song after song staying true to the tv series while showcasing their talents, I came home with a bigger love for Glee, a crush on most of the cast and an I'm with Stoopid T-shirt! see even I can't resist merchandise if it was over priced!

All in all my daughter and I had a fabulous time and it was too much money well spent!

Monday, 27 June 2011

We're having a heatwave!

Well not so much of a heatwave as one hot day! The hottest day of the year so far to be precise! And what do we Brits do, we complain! "ooh it's too hot" it's one day! There are places all over the world that consistently have high temperatures And I mean really high in Libya they have reached 56 before now , Australia have temps recorded in the 40's, As has Texas yet we here reach 32 and everyone goes on like it's the end of the world all this after complaining just last week that it was too wet, windy and cold!

Me personally I love it , I embrace it, I know it won't last long so I fill the paddling pool for the little one (and me!), I stock up on ice lollies and lovely chilled wine and I enjoy!

I strip off to a bikini( not a pretty sight, I know it's wrong to scare small children and animals ) slather on the sun block and sit in my garden and enjoy!

So tomorrow when it's raining and you're complaining about that, think about how much fun you could have had if you'd stopped complaining and just enjoyed yourself!

Friday, 24 June 2011

What a weak week

I have seriously neglected my blog this week something that I had said I wouldn't do anymore, I could blame writers block, lack of inspiration but if I'm honest it's more about allowing my chaotic life to get the better of me and by time there is a bit of peace in the evening I've just been collapsing in a heap on the sofa and watching a little bit of TV something I very rarely get to do!

So I thought today I'd have a little catch up but guess what there is nothing to catch up, my week has really been about kids, house, stress, chaos, doctors, schools, pets and gardening so just an average week really and I am still at loss of what to actually blog about!

God, what if I can never think of anything interesting to write again? What if I can't find inspiration? It just doesn't bare thinking about!

But I am writing this so at least I'm keeping my hand in so to speak even if it is really boring!

So on that note I won't bore you anymore, I will go and try and find a muse or some inspiration or drown my sorrows with a bottle glass of wine!

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

My inspiration has run dry

Name that song!

Seriously though my brain today has turned to mush! I can't actually think of anything worthy to write about today so rather than bore you with endless drivel( is that even a word?) I'm going to put it out there to the world or at least the few that read my blog to inspire me , give me something to think about, rant on about or even research and I will do my best to please!

Oi, keep your mind out of the gutter(unless it's funny) and I'll give anything ago!

Monday, 20 June 2011

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician

Age is an issue of mind over matter.  If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.  ~Mark Twain

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.  ~Caryn Leschen

There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.  ~Author Unknown

 I have had a rough few days when it comes to sleep, my 2 year old seems to have decided that sleep is indeed for the weak and her sleep pattern is all over the place the end result being a totally knackered me!

And when I get tired not only does it show in my movements and sluggish reaction times it shows in my face! Seriously I looked in the mirror this morning and thought 'why has my mum dyed her hair bright red, she's far too old for that' then after splashing my face with water and waking up a little more that was replaced with 'Shit, that's me!' Shortly followed by 'Oh My God, how can I possibly show my face in public looking like that? Bring on the blue rinse I'll pretend to be my mum until I've had the plastic surgery!'

"Quick someone get mummy the number for a good Botox place" is what I actually shouted but as is usual in my house anything I say falls on deaf ears!

So I stood there staring at this alien face in the mirror, looking at my dull skin and tired eyes and I wondered where have I gone? inside I feel the same, that's a good thing right? but on the outside some bugger has replaced my face and body with a saggy , melting down from the top, mess! seriously if gravity carries on like this there will be a pile of folded skin collecting round my ankles as I waddle down the street ( walking inhibited my saggy skin you see!)

And if all that wasn't bad enough I'm 40 this year! no longer in my 30's , 40!  deep breath Emma, in, out, in, out!

Ok, panic attack over , Isn't life supposed to begin at forty that's what they say isn't it? Someone please tell me it does and where I get started?

I know right now I'm over reacting a bit, ok, alot! but aging is hard I'm not really about to go for botox or plastic surgery, although if anyone's offering to pay I wouldn't say No, all in the name of a review of course!

On a good day when I've had sleep and I'm wearing make up I still look reasonably good , some would say Hot! ok by some I mean me but there's nothing wrong with a little self praise is there! but on a bad day like today I wouldn't even want to hazard a guess at how old I look and if you see me on one of these days neither should you!

But seriously they say you're as old as you feel, so why can't you look as old as you feel! wouldn't that be cool (accept for days like today) if all chameleon like, your face and body took on how you were feeling, you'd sure as hell make sure that you embraced life and had a positive outlook, wouldn't you?

But in reality we have to accept what we've got or artificially enhance or change it so how are you going to deal with aging? go under the surgeons knife or grow old disgracefully like me?

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Wear that frown upside down

Today's post isn't my usual sort of post its something more serious, more personal, I want to talk about mental health with the focus of that being on depression, 1 in 4 people in the UK alone will experience some kind of mental health problem in the course of a year, mixed anxiety and depression being the most common and lucky us, women are more likely to suffer but also more likely to seek treatment than men, perhaps this is no surprise then that British men are 3 times more likely to die by suicide than women.

I talk about this today because I have suffered from depression at times in my life and today I'm having a bad day. I'm guessing that most of you at some point have said "I'm feeling a bit depressed" without actually knowing what real depression feels like, that being said we do all have sad days and no one should judge or tell you that you should just get on with it because everyone feels differently and no-one can actually truly feel how you are feeling know matter how empathetic they may be.

My depression started after the death of my daughter , it's what they used to call Reactive depression, Its now been given different classifications and the diagnosis and treatment for depression has changed but I know why mine started it was as reaction to grieve and loss so I'm happy to talk about it as reactive. My depression also shows itself in the form of anxiety I worry about everything but when I'm feeling low these small worries become big and all I think about is worse case scenarios , I've jokingly talked about these before about how my mind works but the reality is I joke as a defence mechanism at times, I smile and laugh as a way of protecting myself mainly from sympathy because for people feeling sorry for me is the worst!

I'm known as the one who is always smiling, always happy, the strong one etc, etc and for the most part I am happy I love my children, I have good friends but even with all this there are just times when I want to run away for a while and be alone but I never act on that , I breathe deeply, meditate on how and why I'm feeling this way and sometimes have a damn good cry, it all helps.

5 years ago I decided to train to become a counsellor, I wanted to facilitate other peoples therapeutic journeys to be able to accompany them on their road to understanding and dealing with what was going on for them in hope of better mental health and on my journey to becoming a counsellor I actually learnt so much about myself , about how I deal with situations and people, I'm not saying that becoming a counsellor is the way for everyone to deal with their depression far from it you need to be in a positive place, not undergoing any stress or difficulty when you begin your training otherwise you would never cope with it as it very in depth in terms of looking at yourself and your experiences but the process helped me understand myself and enabled me to stop and think about what's going on for me and explore why I feel a certain way, so on days like today when I'm feeling low and a little bit lost I can stop breathe and objectively ask myself, "ok what's going on here?" instead of blaming everything else (I used to do that) and try and deal with it and find a way forward.

Really I wrote this post not just as a form of self therapy , though it does help to express how you feel! but to try and break down the taboo that depression still is, as a society in general we in the UK are embarrassed about depression we view it as a sign of weakness, we wonder what people will think of us so we try to pretend its not happening.

So what I'm saying to you is don't feel embarrased or ashamed , talk to someone it doesn't have to be your G.P it can be a good friend you trust, someone at your church anyone you trust to listen. Schools and colleges all have counsellors and more and more work places are realising the importance of mental health and have a counsellor you can contact and anything you say to a counsellor is confidential but if you are feeling really low and its affecting your everyday life I would suggest you see you doctor or find a good therapist one that you feel comfortable withand worse case scenario you are feeling suicidal then ring Samaritans or go in to your local A&E.

Please don't suffer in silence , It really is good to talk.

Samaritans In the UK dial 08457 90 90 90
or email :

you can even write freepost to

P.O. Box 90 90

Sometimes we find it easier to express how we feel in writing and everything you say is in confidence.

And if you'd like to find a counsellor or phsychotherapist a good place to start is

Here you can learn more about counselling and therapy and find a list of  BACP accredited therapists

Friday, 17 June 2011

Its actually working!

Last night my was my weekly weigh in at WeightWatchers, its the end of week 4 and last week as you know I had gained a pound and was a little upset (ok extraordinarily upset) and this week I had been very busy and hadn't really been keeping track of what I had eaten so I was more than a little hesitant in going to the meeting, My mind works like this, I've paid this money to go and have someone tell me what to eat because I haven't got enough will-power/commitment to do it by myself and if I've gained weight again then I'm just wasting my money so I'll just go next week and try extra hard this week, In my mind that all made perfect sense! but then I thought, ok, you're an idiot you're paying this money because you're too weak willed to do it by yourself so don't to it by yourself, go and face the consequences of your actions or lack of them! so I did! and I'm glad I did because wait for it ..............................................................I lost 3.5lbs this week! yay me! that's 8lb in total since I started, ok I might not reach my ideal weight by my big 4 0 like I had hoped but a lot can happen between now and August.

I think even though I hadn't tracked my points the whole process has made me a little more aware of what I'm eating so onwards and upwards or in my case hopefully downwards and lets see what I can achieve this week, I can honestly say that this little accomplishment has made me feel much more positive and motivated and with that in mind I'm off to do Zumba!!

Wish me luck xx

Thursday, 16 June 2011

Really, I just said that!

Firstly I would like to start today's session by apologising about the lack of blogging over the last few days, I made a promise nay a pledge to blog every day even if it was just one word and as is my life I have failed you! I will take my punishment like a man! That is if my punishment is being put in the corner or isolated alone in a room, frankly I good do with the break! But if it's say 50 push-ups you'll find me snivelling in the corner, I have no upper body strength!

So I've been away for a few days because my daughter has been suffering from a headache/migraine for 5 weeks and we have been to and from hospitals, doctors and this week has been appointment after appointment which is horrible and we're no closer to finding an answer but the doc's are pretty sure it's nothing sinister so until the CT Scan results are back we're being as positive as possible while trying out 3 million pain meds and preventative mads, she now rattles when she walks! But all this leads me to this..... The lines we utter as parents that out of context sound absolutely bizarre! Or maybe it's just me that has to utter those lines, oh god is it just me? Someone tell me, please?

This is the line that initiated my little thought process

"No, I don't think decapitation is the answer!"

Could be talking about the death penalty in some far off country, next assassination attempt by trained assassin perhaps? No this was my response to my daughter saying "I'm so fed up with this headache, can't we just chop my head off"

"Please stop poking your sister with that horse"

First thought perhaps, how does one poke someone with a horse perhaps visions of someone astride a horse making said horse head butt someone? No just my twisted mind!
This was me having to tell my 17 year old to stop poking my 2 year old with a hobby horse, trying to make her laugh but instead of just making her laugh it was making her screech at decibels only audible to dogs!

"that's a bloody cat not a parrot"

Ok, that's stating the obvious but one of my daughters insists on walking around with the cat sat on her shoulder!

"stop throwing zombie sticks at your sister! Wait, what the? Zumba they're zumba sticks!"

That was in response to "Mum!!!, tell her to stop throwing zombie sticks at me!"

See how I have to live! There are loads more and as I think of them I will add them. Please add some of your own and let me know that I'm not the only Mum that has to utter these strange sentences, I'd like to think that my family is like everyone elses! I know right who am I kidding!

Monday, 13 June 2011

Why oh why can't our children just be children!

I wasn't going to comment about this as I thought so many bloggers would have done so and probably done a far better job that I at expressing the rage caused by pole dancing classes for children not just children, small children from the age of 3! but the more I think about it the more angry, annoyed and outraged I get so I need to vent that!

Here in the UK at a dance studio in Northampton, Pole dancing for children as young as 3 are being offered, the instructor defends her decision to teach this class by saying that it keeps them fit and gives them confidence um so does a drama class or gymnastics for that matter! This comes on the back of a week where we heard about a beauty parlour again here in England for under 13's offering fakes tans and makeovers to children as young as 1!

What the F*~k is the world coming to? Seriously this is how much this angers me! Let's start with the Pole dancing, what child would ask to do pole dancing? Seriously I'm asking you? Because this really worries me, children talk about and ask to do things they are exposed to, things that they see and want to emulate. My 2 year old has started asking to do ballet( hard enough to find a local class for her to do that ) we're pretty sure that this is because Peppa Pig went to ballet class, it's what they see! She's talks about going to the gym because I go to the gym! She wants to be a cadet because her dad is a cadet instructor, it's all about what they're exposed to! So what the hell are these kids being exposed to?

Now on to the beauty parlour, most little girls want to try on mummies make-up I'm sure most of you who have daughters have had the scenario where you're getting ready to go out and they're sat with you and ask for lipstick too so you let them have a little dab, you pretend to put eyeshadow on them you let them join in with you, see again back to what they see! You don't take them for a full makeover! They are children!!!! Children are supposed to play,they're supposed to get dirty in the garden making mud pies, digging for worms, not get a facial and a fake tan!

God this makes me angry, but who am I angry at the companies that provide these services? They see a niche in the Market and aim to fill it, the media for giving us sexualised images everywhere we turn, you only have to look at most music videos to see some semi-naked young girls writhing about in such a sexual manner that it would make your mother blush! No it's the parents, I'm afraid on this one it really is, it's the parents that pay for these classes, the parents that pay for theses services and it should be the parents that make the decisions about what their children are going to do or take part in but it seems that there are far too many parents that either have forgotten that they are the parent or are giving in to child and peer pressure we've all had the line "but so and so's mum let's them do it!", my response has always been well good for them but I'm your mum and I don't think it's appropriate! See it's called responsibility!

Then I wonder if these are the same parents that are buying their children bra and knicker sets at 4, future footballers wife t-shirts and of course let's not forget too many boys, too little time! All these clothes actually exist! But again they wouldn't exist unless there was a Market for them and again who has the money, the parents!

God this has me outraged and I'm not usually one to blame the parents, I look at contributing factors but on this there really is no one else to blame, We as parents have choice, we can choose what our young children watch, I still vet programmes for my 14 year old in case I find them inappropriate!,we have choice in what they wear and even if they beg and argue about an item of clothing when they get to a certain age, we are the ones paying for it so have a right to reach a compromise or simply say "no I don't think that's appropriate for someone your age" you can tell I've had to say this line more than once it also goes with the line "your dad would have a heart attack if he saw you in that! You don't want to kill your dad, do you?" see, parent of teenage daughters! But it's my choice, that's the point I'm trying to make there is far too much awful stuff going in this world, far too much that our young children don't need to be exposed to, children should be allowed to be children for as long as possible shouldn't they? And it's our duty as parents to let them be just that, surely?

I'm really interested in your thoughts on this so please tell me what you think and I feel so much better for venting my frustration! so Thank you.