Saturday, 16 April 2011

Self sabotage and me

I do it all the time, I self sabotage, I start things and I don't see them through, I go on a diet and eat a great big slice of chocolate cake who am I kidding I eat the whole bloody cake, I break appointments, I back out at the last minute, do you see a pattern forming here? Yes that's right I am in fact the Queen of self-sabotage! When I say it like that it sounds like some comic book hero 'Queen of self-sabotage' watch as she fucks up her own life without the need of any super villain! ( wonder if it would sell? )

The question I ask myself all the time is why do I do it? I don't do it with everything so perhaps it fear of change, fear of rejection, fear of the unknown that prompts this behaviour.

Wow this is like free therapy I shall keep it up, explore how this all makes me feel, well let me tell you not very proud of myself I harp on about how it's better to have regrets about the things you have done than to have never tried and here I am with the realisation that I self sabotage, well not anymore I shall grasp the unknown with both hands, I shall act with spontaneity, laugh in the face of rejection and boldly face the unknown for I am just that kind of super hero! Or I could just try to move forward and stop bloody self-sabotaging!

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