Tuesday, 12 June 2012

The Hobo awards

So this is how conversations in my house go from normal to the completely insane in less than five minutes my daughters and I were talking about the MTV movie awards all agreeing that Johnny Depp and Channing Tatum were the hi-light I mean seriously what's not to love about Channing Tatum I mean have you seen him!

For those who don't know, Channing Tatum is the one wearing clothes!

When my daughter asked "what's that awards thing we have over here, the hobo award? I laugh and say no that's the MOBO awards a hobo is a homeless person her response after laughing was "ok but wouldn't the hobo awards be cool can you imagine the category's and the winners?" so we did! see what I mean, looks like my poor daughters think like me! There really is no hope!

So are categories are as follows

Most animals living on a single human being (lice do not count they come in under a separate category)

Won by chicken Joe who did indeed have a chicken, a squirrel, a rather disgruntled rat, a hedgehog, and a banana named Cleopatra, he said they weren't just company they had their uses which to be honest we don't dare think about! it was explained to Joe that a banana was not technically an animal but his response was rather unsavoury so we decided to let it slide!

Best tin foil head-wear

Was awarded to Bertha who had fashioned the Eiffel tower and a rooster into one stylish headpiece we didn't dare ask the inspiration for this but she did mention one rather fabulous night with a big footed French man!

Most lice on a single human being (see told you!)

This prestigious honour was awarded to Archibald who at last count had somewhere in the region of 4786 and thanked each and everyone of them for there help in his creative dancing that often earned him money!

Most creative use of cardboard

Goes to Len who had recreated the Parthenon using only cardboard and what we're hoping is glue

Most unusual item ever eaten

Goes to fittingly to Iron gut Owen who claims to have eaten a leather boot and some snails smothered in a rich sauce made from some mushrooms he found in ally behind a chemical waste facility he also mentioned that his dinner companions on that particular night were Marilyn Monroe and Buddha! we're thinking it had something to do with the mushrooms but you just never know!

And last but not least the lifetime achievement award for most places lived

Goes to Wayne the wanderer
Who has lived in an incredible 5978 places though in fairness 2978 were in one city so I'm still not sure if he deserves this accolade but he was the only one who had souvenirs from each place which he had cleverly fashioned into a rather stunning coat.

How about you what categories do you think should be in the hobo awards?

And I'm sorry if anyone thinks this is insensitive to homeless people it's really not intended that way, it really was just a bit of fun. homelessness is a serious issue and one which we all should be doing our bit to try and help those that are less fortunate than ourselves.

The following charities work with homeless in the UK and all need help and donations


St. Mungos


Help the Homeless

These are just a few, there are many more so do something today!


  1. I couldn't possibly outdo you and your girls! Fabulous!

    Although "and what we're hoping is glue" not only was a little off-putting but also got me to thinking about Joe and his banana one more time.

    As we say in the States, "Eeewwwwwwwww!"

  2. I am laughing out loud at your response, Thank you Robert xx


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