It's that time of year again when my birthday is getting closer and I start to get that ' woe is me, what have done with my life, what am I doing with my life and oh god look at my saggy boobs!' moments!
I do feel like I should me more together, more sure of what I want and where I'm going, I'm a mother for Christ's sake but in honesty I still have the same teenage insecurities hidden well under an air of mature confidence, of course any of my friends reading this are probably wetting themselves laughing at the idea of 'mature me' but I said it and I'm sticking to it so there! And yes I am poking my tongue out!
I wake up some mornings and think, oh god you're 41 this year, you're edging your way closer to 50! You're getting old, what's next the menopause, becoming a grandparent, where will it end? Well with death obviously it's inevitable but then I just hyperventilate!
My body is is fighting against my mind where I'm still young and can still wear anything that takes my fancy , the reality is my bingo wings are so bad that if I commit the sin of wearing a sleeveless top, one strong gust of wind and I'll be gliding through the air without the need for a hand-glider, maybe people will think I'm some kind of super hero! My boobs are so saggy I may need some kind of mechanical hoist to get them back up where they belong! I contemplate an uplift but surgery scares me so what is a girl or middle aged lady to do?
But that's the thing isn't it you can choose to grow old gracefully accept the card that life has dealt you or you can fight the ravages of time and end up looking like this....
I know which I'll choose!
How about you, are you growing old gracefully or are you going to fight it every step of the way?
What about in your head, are you really as old as you feel?