Today would have been the 21st birthday of my first born daughter, Naomi Elizabeth Tamar, my first daughter after 2 boys, my precious little bundle who died at just 3 weeks old from Sudden infant death syndrome, my whole world turned upside down but I don't want to talk about that today, today I just want to celebrate her birthday. People around me rarely mention her,(except one dear friend who I thank so much for remembering, if you read this it means the world to me) I suppose for fear of upsetting me but sometimes it upsets that they don't it's almost like she didn't exist but she did and there's not a day when she doesn't cross my mind, I've had 4 more daughters since losing Naomi and I have watched them grow and reach milestones and counted everyday day with them as a blessing ( even with the teenage tantrums!) and I've often wondered what she would have been like and I shed tears often but today on what would be a big milestone I just want to remember and celebrate her birth 21 years ago today though the tears happen less often she will always be in my thoughts and in my heart.
And anyone who does know someone who has lost a child do talk to them about their child the chances are they might cry but the chances also are that they will be happy that you remember them.
Thank you for this post, Emma. You have taught us all something precious today.
ReplyDeleteYes. I thank you too. I do know someone who lost a child through SIDS, and I often remember, but wasn't sure I should bring it up with her.
ReplyDeleteEmma, you are so right. I have lost two children and have had a number of stillbirths, and I try always to encourage people to talk of the children to me and others; important for mums and dads who have lost children, but also important to let people reaise that child bereavement is a very real and precious issue. I, too, know what it is to shed tears at every milestone and my love reaches out to you at this time. You may like to read someting that I wrote on my youngest daughter's birthday - http://stanforth-sharpe.co.uk/2011/12/02/sealed-with-a-kiss/ xx
ReplyDeleteThank you for your thoughts I just read your post so beautifully written , it made me shed a few more tears.
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