I need a little Gok (not a euphamism!)

As those of you who read my blog regularly know I have had a few went completely insane little issues about turning 40 last year somewhat of a mini midlife crisis if you will!

I have now come to terms with my age, "oh no you haven't!" oh yes I have! Well almost! Anyway I digress but apart from the weird physical joys of turning 40 , random black hairs growing out of my chin(I'm naturally light brown, I think, it's been a long time, how am I supposed to remember! Anyway if anyone can explain that please do!), random white hairs in my eyebrows, at this rate I'm going to be one of those women with the almost cartoon looking drawn on eyebrows, perhaps I shall paint on a look of constant shock or perhaps one eyebrow jauntily raised (can one raise ones eyebrow jauntily?) can't you just picture it! In case you can't I was thinking something like this .....




Or perhaps this....

or even this......

Actually I have completely digressed from what I wanted to say, what I wanted to say is that lately I find myself strangely drawn to comfortable shoes and not just comfortable shoes, strangely coloured comfortable shoes, shoes with padding, comfortable insoles, arch support, someone help me quick I need a Gok Wan, Trinnie and suzannah style intervention, I know they're wrong but I can't help it, I look at them and I say those words (oh god, I can't believe I'm going to publicly admit this!) "ooh they look comfortable!" so far I've resisted the urge to buy them but I do own several pairs of Birkenstocks , what can I say they're comfortable! But is this the slippery slope? Will I start buying trousers with elasticated waists (well they are comfortable!) wearing jumpers that match absolutely nothing! And I can't believe I'm saying this ........pause for dramatic effect...... A short perm because it's so much easier to manage!! Where will it end .... A blue rinse!
 

So Gok if you're reading this help me now!

Dream a little dream

I had a dream last night, not a Martin Luther King inspirational type dream more your giant space monkeys eating your head kind! but that's another story!

Last night I had the weirdest dream I think I have ever had, no shocking content, so bizarre places, just a really weird dream, I dreamt that I was stood in front of my cooker making gravy and I was whisking away while it gently bubbled when all of a sudden the gravy exploded all over me with such force that I woke up! I kid you not I woke up with such a start! my heart was beating twice as fast it was just well 'weird!'

I have tried to find out what it might mean but can't, the closest I have come is dreaming of explosions can mean that disapproving actions of those connected with you will cause you transient displeasure and loss, and that business will also displease you or it foretells that unworthy friends will infringe on your rights and will abuse your confidence and young women should be careful of associates of the opposite sex and to dream of eating gravy, portends failing health and disappointing business.

So I didn't eat the gravy it just exploded so not quite sure if this is the same but it doesn't sound like its looking good for me!

A few years ago when I was studying we did touch on dream psychology but it was all very Freudian and we all know about those dreams don't we!

A lecturer had once said that we can only dream about things we know, that our subconscious cannot invent something that we have no prior knowledge of. Makes sense and I often make gravy but not once has it exploded!

So if anyone out there has any better ideas please please let me know and I'm curious has anyone else had any particularly weird dreams?

I did it playing football, honest!

My previous post reminded me of all the little accidents my son had while out playing mostly down to him not thinking things through, remember the chilli incident well it's the same son! says it all really.

I lost track of the times he came in limping claiming to have hurt his foot/ankle/leg while kicking a football and I'm sure on some occasions this was the case but thinking about them out playing reminded me of one particular incident where he claimed to have twisted his ankle playing football!

My father-in-law is a minister and one Sunday after church we had gone into the house to catch up,have something to eat etc and quite often the children would play for a while out in the church courtyard, the living room was on the first floor and the house had a ground floor extension to one side of the back door and a large shed to the other( trying to paint a picture here for you!) anyway we were all sat there in the living room, drinking tea, chatting and all of a sudden we all stop, "did you all just see that?" I ask in hope I was wrong, maybe my vision is failing, perhaps someone spiked my tea, well you never know! "yes we saw that" was the reply from all! What they had seen was my then 9 year old son leaping across from one building to another I kid you not we're othe first floor and I see my small child pass by the window! After the shock subsided I went to run down down to find him, scold him, hoping he's ok etc and before I could make it out the door in he walks 'limping!' "what have you done?" I ask waiting to see if he will tell me, "I twisted my ankle when I kicked the football" he says rather too sheepishly "really?" I say "So it has nothing to do with the fact that you just leapt across from the kitchen to the shed?" his face changes "how did you know?" "see that big rectangle thing up there, it's a window and you can see through them!" "oops" was all he had to say with a silly grin on his face!

We often caught him jumping off walls, one time a small building but unless he saw us he would still try and tell us "I did it playing football!"

Let the children play

There was a conversation on the radio today about children not being allowed out to play without their parents and the alarming fact that we have become so scared of what might happen that many children these days don't even learn how to ride to bike!

I understand that parents are afraid of what might happen, I am one after all! But in trying to protect our children from every little thing are we in fact hindering their growth as people? How will they learn to assess situations, decide what is dangerous, learn common sense if we as parents do it all for them.

Times have changed and mainly thanks to the media we are more aware of the worse case scenario but to what expense?

When I think back to my childhood I went out to play for hours on end without a mobile phone I might add(had they even been invented then?) and if my mother wanted me she would come out into the street and call me! I was told how far I could go and if I went to the park with friends not parents, I know how bizarre! I was told not to speak to strangers, cross the road carefully and be back by what ever meal time was next. I climbed trees, hid in bushes, made dens and did dares and from what I remember had fun!

Now when I think back to all my children growing up I can see that times and attitudes have changed, when my sons were little I let them play out (still without mobile phones) and told them the same as I was told, they would mostly ride their bikes and play football all thankfully without incident but then the world seemed to change a little, the fear of pedophiles, the increase of gang crime and I started to worry more, by time my daughters were old enough to play out I was a lot more cautious I let them play out, ride their bikes but they were told to stay close so if I came outside or looked out the window I could see them and park trips were accompanied by a parent.

I now have a 3 year old and I'll be honest I don't know how I will react when she reaches the age that she wants to play outside of our own garden, I hope my common sense will kick in but who knows, at least I have a while to think about it!

Well I did ask!

I put out a little plea for inspiration and I got it from a fellow blogger and someone who's mind is amazing Mr. Robert Brague Over at http://rhymeswithplague.blogspot.com/ I strongly suggest you head over there, you will not be disappointed but do so after you've read my blog of course!

He mentioned That when at a loss for inspiration he often thinks of The effects of gamma rays on man-in-the-moon marigolds, now I'm pretty sure he wasn't thinking what would happen if actual gamma rays were directed at said marigolds perhaps an incredible hulk scenario although what a marigold would do when it's angry is anyone's guess! No I think he was referring to the Paul Zindel Play although I could be wrong! The title of the play although seeming somewhat obscure is actually a science project that one of the daughters is doing at school but I think it's also meant to serve as a metaphor for the way life affects us differently although that being said Its been a long time and I think I perhaps need to reacquaint myself with the play! ( I think they made it in to a film too, off to google I go )Robert if you're reading this please remind me! Unless of course you were thinking about the incredible hulk scenario!

So now my inspiration has been fuelled I will start on my next post!

Just a little question and a plea for inspiration

Should one write for the sake of writing?

This is the question I find myself asking well, myself!

You see some times I have so many things going on in my head that I find it difficult to focus and give one thing my all

A disorganised mind, that's what I have, strangely I also have a disorganised house! Who'd have thought it! Yes that was sarcasm but I think there definitely is a link!

So I'm sat here now thinking what should I write about and finding myself totally unable to commit to one thing!

I need inspiration! And I need it now!

So I'm going to go away for now in hope that I return later with a blinding, brilliant flash of inspiration and write an awe inspiring blogpost!

If not I'll just be back to tell you about my day, you really want to hope that I get that flash because somehow I think my exciting day of cleaning, cooking and running round after a mad 3 year old won't actually be that exciting!

Maybe you could all suggest something I could write about? Go on, I dare you!

Happy Birthday My Angel

Today would have been the 21st birthday of my first born daughter, Naomi Elizabeth Tamar, my first daughter after 2 boys, my precious little bundle who died at just 3 weeks old from Sudden infant death syndrome, my whole world turned upside down but I don't want to talk about that today, today I just want to celebrate her birthday. People around me rarely mention her,(except one dear friend who I thank so much for remembering, if you read this it means the world to me) I suppose for fear of upsetting me but sometimes it upsets that they don't it's almost like she didn't exist but she did and there's not a day when she doesn't cross my mind, I've had 4 more daughters since losing Naomi and I have watched them grow and reach milestones and counted everyday day with them as a blessing ( even with the teenage tantrums!) and I've often wondered what she would have been like and I shed tears often but today on what would be a big milestone I just want to remember and celebrate her birth 21 years ago today though the tears happen less often she will always be in my thoughts and in my heart.

And anyone who does know someone who has lost a child do talk to them about their child the chances are they might cry but the chances also are that they will be happy that you remember them.

And it's off!

I have my hand back at last! Not that I left it anywhere or anything like that (well you never know what you might be thinking) No, after 6 long weeks I finally have my cast off!

Now I'm not naive enough to think that it would be 100% back to normal but what I wasn't expecting was pain, lack of movement and shed loads of dry flaky skin! I knew there would be some but my hand and arm is ridiculous!

Before I left for the hospital I was excited at the prospect of being able to do things again even cleaning! I know who gets excited about cleaning? Believe me 6 weeks of having only teenagers to help out around the house and you'd be exciting about cleaning! I tried to let it go, appreciate the help I was getting etc etc especially with a 3 year old with the energy of 10 and them having to burden the brunt of her play requests! Often strenuous, always energetic but after 6 weeks of them being in charge the house looks worse than student digs!

So my visions of being able to clean and tidy, to knit and sew are all on the back burner until I've healed some more and had some rounds of physio and I have to wear a really attractive splint for 6 weeks as well but at least I'm getting there and I can have a bath without having to put my arm in a what is essentially a plastic bag!

So that's why they call them ghost chillis!

So last night I had cooked a slow cooker chilli for dinner, absolutely delicious with great big chunks of steak and my lovely home made ghost chilli oil and my son comes in opens the pot as he always does when anything is cooking and tries some
"that's not that hot, I thought you said you were using ghost chilli oil"
me, "thought it best to only use a little so as to not destroy the children's taste buds"
son, "oh that's nothing though, I bet a could eat one of those chillies"
Me, trying to blind him with science and convince that I actually do know best "they're like a million scoville units! That's about 10 times hotter than a scotch bonnet, are you insane!" to which the answer is obviously YES! Because he keeps on and on so eventually I get my little bag of dried ghost chilli that I hide at the back of my herbs and spices so no one uses it by mistake and I say "Right son of mine chop a very small bit off the tip of one of thoses and try it then" but what does that idiot boy do (at this point I feel it worth mentioning he's 24!) he bites in to it like its a sweet!
"don't know what you're on about mum, it's not that ......" then it kicks in his eyes start watering first, then streaming then his whole head turns red "quick grab your brother some milk" I say to his 17 year old sister who is practically wetting herself laughing at his misfortune or utter stupidity! He downs a pint in one then another then another, I in complete motherly concern am taking pictures of him , laughing and reminding him that no matter what age you are generally your mother DOES know best! I then realise that he is still rather red and salivating rather a lot ( he's a drooling red eyed wreck to be more precise!)
"now I know why they call them ghost chillis" he says "it's because you want to die after you've eaten one", in between laughing and telling him that I did warn him, real motherly concern does kick in and I google how to lessen the affect , the consensus seems to be ice cream, ice cream and more ice cream! Two bowls later and his head isn't quite so red and he says he thinks the feeling is starting to come back in his tongue so hopefully a lesson has been learnt and he won't do that again....Wrong! an hour later I ring him to see if he's fully recovered and what does he say "yeh feeling much better now seeing as the pain only lasted an hour, I think I might me able to do one of those chilli challenges!" Unbelievable 2 hours ago he was dying now he can take on a chilli challenge!

Oh, we'll I guess it's true what they say "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!" or "men are idiots!" I know which one I think!

It's common sense, surely?

It's that time of year when we start thinking about certain things... Money.. Well we think about that all year but right now most of us are still in shock at how much we spend on celebrating one day of the year and how pissed we are that almost all the gifts we bought are now half price just one day later(I'm celebrating Christmas on the 27th this year or at least exchanging presents on the 27th!)and our health, you know the one "oh God why did I drink so much!" closely followed by "oh God why did I eat so much" it's like our brains think "right it's Christmas we can eat drink and be merry and damn the consequences!" then the cold light of new year kicks in and we're 10lb heavier, our livers are screaming out for mercy and our pockets are a lot more pounds lighter!

It's the time when gym memberships( that we use twice!) and weight loss groups have record numbers of new members.

But the reality is that most of us won't stick to our resolutions and will be even more out of pocket as a result!


And so with all of this in mind I have come up with a plan that all of us can follow its guaranteed to work and solves all our problems in the same plan! What's this amazing plan I hear you cry! Where can I sign up for it? Here take my bank details!

Ok, wait for it, it's called .....................COMMON SENSE! Seriously! Eat less, drink less, save money! Ta dah! I know I'm amazing!

Seriously though it just takes a few changes to have an impact and you can even save more money on your groceries by making a few simple changes and by planning your meals in advance.

This week I halved my shopping bill by planning what we will eat for the week, changing a few things for the supermarkets basic range, which by the way when I checked the nutritional value were quite often lower in calories, saturated fat and salt, bulking out meals with vegetables that were on special offer(all the major supermarkets run special offers on fruit and veg)and only buying what we need instead of picking up all those little things that I suddenly decide we need that are on offer, you know the ones they're usually sweet or fatty and they're buy 1 get 1 free and you'd never normally buy them! Or is that just me?

So there we are, that's my plan for the new year and so far this week I've lost 2lb in weight and saved a hell of a lot more in money!

So come one, come all and join me, use that Common Sense and you know what, why not walk to the supermarket if possible and exercise a little more therefore burning a few more calories and get a little more healthier!

I'll keep you informed and I may even post some of my money saving meal plans and hopefully we'll all be healthier and have a bit more money in our pockets!

2012, no really it is!

I've been away a while, not physically but mentally very much so!

I have had so much going on that blogging came bottom of the list of things of importance, my son broke his leg really badly, my daughter has been ill, well actually it's ongoing and has required lots of blood tests and still no real idea why she is constantly ill all we know is her immune system isn't working the way it should and I have found myself so fixated on everything else that somehow I forgot that life actually does go on even with all theses obstacles! Oh but to top it off,the icing on the cake if you will! At the start of December I broke my wrist so severely that for a brief moment the doctors thought the bones might crumble and I could potentially lose my hand! I kid you not! Thankfully thanks to a very able doctor all bones were put back in place and I have a very attractive green cast set in a very peculiar angle and will find out on the 11th how well it has repaired.

These things are sent to try us they say but really I'd much rather not be tested anymore if it's all the same!

So anyway with all of that rambling came the realisation that I can do all the things I want to do and that fixating and worrying about all the things that actually I have no control over really isn't good for anyone , The prayer of serenity comes to mind!



God grant me 
the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference;
Living one day at a time; 
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it:

Trusting that you will make all things right
if I surrender to your will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with you forever in the next.
 
The fact that this prayer has also been adopted by alcoholics anonymous also seems quite apt! But seriously though the first few lines do help me.

So basically what I'm really saying is "I'm back!"

I've seen it all

Well it's that time of year again or that time of day if you're watching a children's tv channel! That all the toy advertisements are on tv for what seems like every minute and today while watching with my little one I saw an advert for a game, if that's what you can call it, a game called doggie doo! I kid you not this is supposed game is aimed at children 3 and upwards and the aim of the game is to collect dog poo and the person who collects 3 dog poos first wins! Seriously, is it me or is this disgusting?

What's wrong with snakes and ladders or ludo or connect four? Ok maybe I'm showing my age here but those were games!

Picking up pretend dog poo, Erm, No! and as for teaching kids that if you have a pet you have to clean up after it well let me tell you dogs usually don't poop out plasticine, well saying that there was this one time that our dog pooped out an array of technicolour items play dough included but trust me it was no fun to clean up!

Please game makers make nice,fun, hopefully somewhat educational games for our children!

What's next, Guess what's in the vomit? The fun game for all ages!

Erm just in case some sad git does think that's a good idea for a game please remember you saw it here first and though technically disgusting it was my idea!

Er, Erm *rather embarrassed cough* !

Ok I harped on and on about blogging and me time, blah, blah, blah, etc, etc, etc and never did anything about it so I'm apologising saying I'm back hopefully with avengence and without further ado are you sitting comfortably? Yes? Then I'll begin ..........

Hi, Hello, it's me

I did it again didn't I?

I made a fuss about doing things for myself, making me time, blogging because guess what I actually enjoy it! And what have I done nothing! Nada! Zilch! Well up until now that is and now really is the first step of some well deserved me time!

I shall blog again, I shall find my voice and I shall make some me time!

But that for today at least is all!

Short and sweet!

Some would say just like me!

Well I would say just like me but still that's not the point!

40, The gift that keeps on giving!

I've done it again haven't I, I've moaned about not getting time to blog and then after saying that I will make time, I haven't! It been what about 2 weeks since my last post? So much for posting every day! I must try harder!

I am officially crap!

So anyway you know that whole taking care of 'me' thing that I was going to try well I made real quality time for myself and I went to the doctors about my poor aching heel to be told that I have plantar fisciitis a condition most common in women aged 40-60 and athletes so being the fine tuned athlete that I am this can of course be the only reason I'm in pain!

I wish!

He also told me that being over weight can aggravate it so basically what the doctor told me is that my heels hurt because I'm old and fat! Oh the joy!

So I have these lovely exercises to try and if they don't work it's either steroid injections, I have visions of looking like a Russian athlete! A splint because the limp just isn't attractive enough! Or worse case scenario an operation but there are some experimental treatments one involving Botox, I wonder if I could ask them to just pop a few injections around my face while they're at it!

So my limping self is going to sign off for now and try my best to be back soon!

Sometimes life gets in the way!

I once again haven't posted anything in a while and this is getting to be a bit of a bad habit, a pattern if you will but what it basically is, is life getting in the way! I try really I do but between the children, there are 6 of them although some of them are supposed to be adults! The family,the house and everything connected with that time seems to just fly by before I even realise it's gone and all my good intentions, all the things that I enjoy doing seem to just fall by the wayside.

A very good friend of mine (if we were 10 she would be my BFF actually I'm 40 and she is my BFF!) recently told me that I give too much of myself and don't look after 'me' enough and as is usual she was right! She is very wise! The more I thought about it the more I realised that the time that I make purely for me is actually non-existent! I don't even get to have a bath without the little one begging to get in, me time, what is this elusive me time that you speak of and how do you get it? No, seriously I'm asking because I haven't figured it out!

So my mission this week is to try and put myself first sometimes! No, I won't try, I will! And on actually a quite pathetic part to putting myself first I'm off to make a doctors appointment to have my painful heel looked at , an appointment that I've been putting off making for 2 months because I just couldn't get round to it! So no relaxing massage or manicure for my 'me time' no my first step is a doctors appointment! I think I may need a little help with this concept don't you?


Tell me how do you make time for yourself? And do you think it's important?

So life begins!

It's been a week since I last posted anything, I am once again a bad bad blogger and I do hang my head in shame, no really I do! But in my defence it's been a busy busy week!

And let's not forget I celebrated/commiserated my birthday the big one, the one life is said to begin at, the big giant 4 0! Yes thats right I am now officially 40! I know don't look a day over 39, right?

And I celebrated this momentous occasion with the dignity, grace and style befitting a lady of my years......that's right, I got blind stinking drunk!

It was supposed to be just a nice BBQ for family and friends but my family and friends all know me very well and brought copious amounts of alchol it would have been rude not to drink it now wouldn't it!

What I remember of it was fantastic I had 4 cakes! Yes 4, see my family and friends do really know me, cake and wine and a happy me!

Lots of laughs were had, Lots of food was eaten, LOTS of drink was drank and now all we have to see is if life really does begin at 40!

So tell me did yours?

The joy that is the School holidays!

I have just noticed what a poor month I've had blogging wise, just 9 posts well 10 now and the only difference this month is school holidays! I never quite realised how much time is taken up by the children I know that sounds a bit weird parenting is a full time job after all but what I mean is when they're at school you manage your time better or at least I manage my time better, how presumptious of me to assume it's the same for you, please tell me it is the same for you? Please? I would hate to think that I'm the only one who struggles with time and routine during the holidays!

The thing is apart from the little one the others are teenagers they should be entertaining themselves surely?

It just seems all routine goes out the window and twice as much work for me happens, something not right there, I may go on strike, mums have rights too! I may make a placard and a picket line across the kitchen door chanting, "what do we want? A clean house! When do we want it? Now!" that would get their attention or perhaps just sit and watch the washing up pile up no one seems to have figured out how to load and unload the dishwasher I think they still believe in the cleaning fairy!

But it's not just the added cleaning and shopping because you're constantly running out of bread, milk and cereal (or is that just my house?) its that they all hog the computer, laptop, iPads etc etc when they're indoors and as we haven't had the best summer we've been indoors a lot! So finding a time slot for me to do anything has been difficult to say the least!

Still back to school soon then I'll be moaning about the early mornings and getting them out of the house on time, oh the joys!

Well, I'm off now to make a placard and perhaps a banner if I can just find the time and a marker!

Well it is 3 F's I suppose!

So a while ago I set myself this challenge to be Fit and Fabulous by Forty and that time is almost here 4 days away in fact and I have achieved 3 F's! That's right I'm Fat, Fabulous and Forty! (well almost!) I know not quite the 3 F's I was going for but in the immortal words of Meatloaf (The singer that is, not the food, that would just be weird!) "2 out of 3 ain't bad!" and I have dropped a dress size.

But through all this my aim really was to get out of that rut that most mothers seem to end up in especially when you have a toddler of jeans and t shirts day in day out and saying that I am sat writing this in jeans and a t shirt! But they are a little more stylish and a size smaller so don't judge me!

All that being said I have learnt that a little time spend on myself does make me feel better, I now remember to brush my hair every day (if you know me you know what an achievement this is!), I wear make up more than once a month and I have a fabulous new hair cut and colour, I even shave my legs when I'm not getting them out in public!

And the end result is I feel more like 'ME' not just someone's mum, ok the diet never quite worked out, what can I say, I love to cook and I love to eat!

I have exercised more, feel a little healthier and intend to carry this on and if I lose a little more weight along the way that'll be great too.

So on Sunday I shall be just fabulous and forty and I'm ok with that! So now let's see if life really does begin at forty!

Silent Sunday

Some things I've learnt!

I thought I would share with you a few life lessons I've learnt over the years otherwise known as 'sods law' in no particular order

1. If you have actually manage to clean your entire house you will get No visitors

2. On the day your house is a complete pigsty, clothes and toys everywhere and you're still wearing your pyjamas, hair unbrushed and spilt coffee down your front everyone will turn up for a visit!

3. If you want your children to be quiet well behaved little things, say at a wedding during the speeches they will announce in their loudest voice "I need a poo now" (happened last week)

4. Likewise when you're bragging about your child and how clever they are they will choose that moment to forget every damn thing that you've just told the person they can do!

5. If you are in a rush to leave the house you will lose your keys, purse, hairbrush or shoes or as quite often in my case all of the above!

6. That one pair of shoes that you've had your eye on for ages but couldn't justify spending that much money will go on sale but they won't have your size!

7.The doorbell/phone will ring just after you relax into the bath

8. Your toast will land butter side down

9. You will miss your mouth spilling hot tea down your best outfit just before you leave for that important meeting

10. If you have to get somewhere quickly there will be a traffic jam

11. Your child will be fine at home and then the minute you get in a packed supermarket throw up everywhere! (happened yesterday)

These are just a few to be getting on with, I will add more as I think of them or more likely as they happen to me!

So please tell me yours

Reincarnation, My only hope for a peaceful life!

In my next life I'm coming back as a dog!

Not just any dog a male pampered pooch, perhaps even American, they seem to really go a bit crazy over their pets!


I made this decision after the day from hell yesterday , I did not get a break! by time eveyones elses needs were met and everything was done my only me time was sleeping! In short yesterday sucked!

I decided it has to be an animal as I definitely don't want the life of a person, whoever coined the phrase "it's a dogs life" obviously never thought about the fact the dogs have it bloody easy fed, walked, all they have to do all day is decide who or what to bark at, chase their tails a little, maybe dig a hole or 2, sleep, eat and occasionally lick their balls! I'd say a dog has a pretty good life!

Me on the other hand had to put up with mess, 6 loads of laundry, fighting kids, toddler going through terrible two's, cooking, cleaning, dishwasher loaded twice not to mention going shopping then back to do pretty much all of the same again!

No I do not want to be a woman having to deal with children or men all that whining! then theres the children!

So the way I look at it right now my only chance for a peaceful life is what I come back as in the next one!

so what do you intend to come back as and why?

Oh London my home

I started writing this post yesterday and so far I have changed my mind, re-written, scrapped completely, felt like I was exploited a situation to my advantage f you know what I mean? and now I feel able to try and start again.

My initial thoughts were obviously about the riots, the impact on our communities, the mindless violence the excuses offered, then I thought I would write from my perspective, what I saw, I live in Peckham about 2 minutes walk from the front line of the violence and looting, I felt scared, I felt threatened and I couldn't comprehend why these people would do this especially on their own doorsteps.

Then I thought about the reasons, the initial trouble started in response to the death of a young man, It started as a protest, people wanting answers, It escalated and people took advantage of a situation and used it to benefit themselves and get 'Free Stuff'.

Then violence and mindless destruction started all over London, then other cities followed it wasn't for a cause it was about greed! they saw people get away with it and they thought I want some of that!

I'm not saying that all involved were merely out for what they could get, I'm sure some felt that this was a way of getting back, a way of venting mass frustration but on the whole it was GREED and a total lack of humanity, I wondered about pack mentality as opposed to the individual actions but that's not what I decided to write about it this is........

Messages of love and support for Peckham

They may have destroyed our shops and left our communities confused but people care, I walked through Peckham today and the shops that were still boarded up damaged beyond believe had signs on the boards saying 'Business as usual' they had opened regardless in what must be a climate of fear for themselves and their shops, their livelihoods and I felt pride , I felt really emotional after all this devastation Peckham stood up and said you can't shut us down!

Peckham was quiet, people still nervous I'm sure but it was open! all except those shops that sustained serious damage.

And for what I think is the first time I felt truly proud of the area that I live.

Silent Sunday

Hello

Hello , Just wanted to let you all know that I am still here but I'm having a particularly stressful time and not quite sure what I want to write about as there is just so much going on for me right now.

So for right here, right now I'm off to have a bottle glass of wine, watch some mindless television and try to calm down and relax!

Oh and I have a wedding to go to tomorrow so may not get on here then either


So Bye for now and if you feel like a chat please say Hello! I really could do with a friendly ear or even just a chat about complete nonsense!

The incredible bearded lady!

I woke up this morning to find one solitary long black hair growing out of my chin! MY CHIN! Seriously is it not bad enough that I'm turning forty this month, do I have to turn into the incredible bearded lady as well! I suppose at least it would keep the children entertained if you read my previous post you'll understand! They could charge admission to see me it would solve the whole spending money issue too!

Why aren't we told these things as young women, why aren't we warned that unless we take care of our bodies we will develop bingo wings, crepey skin, stretch marks, saggy boobs seriously forget telling kids not to eat crap because of obesity play on their vanity just show them a picture or me and and that'll scare them in to healthy eating and exercise!

I can't help but wonder if no one tells you about these things as a kind of revenge for losing their young agile facial hair free bodies, I can picture my mother now smiling to herself as she watched me smiling and laughing, happily getting ready to go out thinking " ha you're all smiles now with your toned legs, boobs on your chest and hair free face but just wait 25 years from now when your boobs hang like pendulums, have stretch marks that look like a road map and a full circus beard, we'll see who's smiling then!"

Ok, I'm sure that's my mind doing that thing it does but seriously why aren't we warned? perhaps all of you were? perhaps it was just me who was kept in the dark about all these lovely side affects of ageing, you tell me? Were you warned? And do you tell your daughters about the possible perils of ageing?

Please let me know!

Well I'm off now to shave and buy my daughters waxing vouchers for when they turn 40!

Summer Holidays

So the summer helidays holidays are once again upon us and so far I've had a barrage of I'm bored from teenagers

My responses "clean your room, it would be nice to know you had a floor" apparently that's not entertainment! "Ok, how about you entertain yourself then?" apparently this is not actually possible and the parent is supposed to entertain at all times! I did offer to dance or juggle perhaps but was told that I was just being silly now!

Seriously I can't win!

The other problem I have is because I have a broad age range to appeal to and appease it's difficult to come up with a one activity/day out fits all so, so far there has been a lot of swimming and sending teens off to friends so they can be bored at someone else's house, cinema, always a winner and of course when they've whined enough or done enough to earn some money, shopping! The teenage girls favourite but it would be nice to find something that we can all do together that everyone would enjoy, is there such a place? If so then I need to know about it! Oh and it mustn't cost a fortune, in fact preferably it must be free!

So what do you do with your brood?

Can you please everyone?

So if you'll excuse me until you all bombard me with ideas, PLEASE BOMBARD ME! I'm off to don my jesters hat before I hear "Muuummmm!!!!!" again

What a day!

I spent hours at the hospital today, I mean hours! Or should I say we spent hours, we were at the hospital because my daughter has had a migraine for 3 months! I kid you not my poor daughter has been in pain every day and after a barrage of tests and trials and errors with various medication she is still in pain and even after our very long wait at the hospital all they can say is they are pretty sure it's migraine and if none of the medication works she may just have to learn to live with it!

She's 14 it's affecting her schooling, her life and the best they can offer is try these and if they don't work she'll have to find ways of dealing with it and even after all my questions all my protests that there must be more they can do that's all we walked away with!

So if anyone has any and I mean any ideas I really would love to hear we really are desperate!

Forty! The Big 4 0!

I woke up this morning in a cold sweat , no, not the menopause, though...... who knows, it could be after all in a month I'm going to be 40!

I know I've been going on about it a lot but seriously it's bugging me in a big big oh my god how did I get this old kind of a way!

You see 40 is that age where you're supposed to have your shit together you're supposed to be well on your career path, your life should really be the life you want but hell I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up!

I've done the conventional stuff I've got married 'er hmm twice!' I've had my children, I've been a responsible adult , school governor, grown up person type etc on the outside but on the inside I'm still trying to decide if I want to be a ballerina or an astronaut!

Does anyone else no what I mean? please tell me someone else does otherwise it may just confirm that I am actually insane!

The thing is by now I was supposed to be a best selling author ok I know actually writing a book might help toward this goal but still

I know they say its never too late but where do you start if you're not completely content with your lot?

Or is this just a midlife crisis talking?

Don't get me wrong I rather like my life , I love my kids but I can't help wondering "is there more?" well "IS THERE?" Seriously I'm asking?

Then there's the question of how to celebrate this birthday, I told everyone I didn't want a big fuss but of course I actually meant can you make a great big giant fuss I'm 40 after all!

So now I'm torn and not quite sure how to mark the occasion so suggestions on a post card please

Or you could just leave me a comment

How did you? or How will you celebrate your big 4 0


Apparently digging a hole, lying in it ,holding flowers saying "that's it now" isn't an option!

so I need your suggestions!

Zaggora Hotpants

So never one to pass up a freebie or chance to try anything to lose weight and tone up, a while a go I applied to be an ambassador for Zaggora Hotpants.

And my Hotpants turned up!

They would like all their 'ambassadors' to try them for 2 weeks, see the results and basically report back to the world on their effectiveness, so that's just what I did!

I would post a picture of myself in them but lets be honest no one really wants that, now do they?

The Hotpants are designed to help you achieve more with less, maximising your workout and attacking those areas that we all want to look better! It says that they are Super comfortable, you can wear them indoors, outdoors, in bed at night or during the day, on their own or under your gear.

Specially designed with Celu‐Lite™ technology, they work to reduce body fat and the visible appearance of cellulite by using your natural body heat to warm your muscles by increasing your perspiration with the effect of potentially reducing 2 jean sizes in 2 weeks. 

So when they turned up I thought is this the miracle I've been looking for?


They look sleek ,comfortable and practical and kind of reminded me of a wetsuit you know that neoprene type fabric.


My exercise of choice is Zumba, yoga and running so I though I'd go straight to it with some Zumba!


But first I had to get in to them! It was a little tricky to get the zip up but once on they fitted perfectly, were comfortable and offered ease of movement.

In fact the only downside to them is the noise they make when you're moving! My bottom half sounded like my Zumba sticks! I sounded like human maracas! but that being said I did feel like I got a better work out and they certainly made me sweat!


The science behind the pants is all on their website, its very interesting but lets face all you want to know is "did they work?"

Well yes they did! I have dropped a jean size! which is great but the noise that the pants make is a bit embarrassing to wear them to a class so I shall only be wearing them at home but I am going to keep on trying with them and if you'd like to try them too just use the offer code below to get 10% off!

100 not out

This , this right here right now is my 100th post!


I feel it should be something monumental!

Something that will get you thinking, stand the tests of time be the post that kicks all other posts ass!

But at the moment my one and only post about Hot Guys and crushes is still kicking all my other posts asses! so what to do?


Since I started my blog I have covered many issues , life, parenting, body image, knife crime, recipes and reviews to name but a few and what does everyone look at..........Hot Guys and Girls but mainly guys!


So in honour of that post and to celebrate my 100th post I give you ...........

Justin Chambers

And........

Ian Somerhalder

And of course........

Jesse Williams

Not to mention........

Eric Dane

And last but by no means least ......

Justin Timberlake

Honestly the lengths I go to for you! The hard, hard work I had to do looking at all these hot guys!


And yet I still only have 7 followers! what is wrong with you people?

How old is too old?

I brave this question because tonight I'm going to a gig with one of my daughters not as an adult accompanying a minor kind of way, although that's what everyone things! No! I not so secretly love Wretch 32, the daughter who I'm going with didn't even know who he was but wanted to see the other 2 artists on the bill!

But it made me think technically this is young music for young people, right? But I think music is subjective, it's about what you like, what moves your soul, what makes you want to get up and dance or sing along.

I love music! My taste is eclectic, there is no particular type I know what I like and I like it! That simple!

I have favourites of course but they don't fit one particular style of music , I love Jason Mraz (ok, I admit he is my absolute favourite) , Billie Holiday, The Foo Fighters, Green Day, Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, Debussey and they are top of my playlist but I love so much more ,I love Drum and Bass, I love Garage  and I've seen Usher, Adele and Glee live this year, see Eclectic! Or insane!

But back to my dilemma how old is too old to go to the gigs? And what does one wear? Do I try to fit in and potentially end up looking like mutton dressed up as lamb? Or just wear whatever takes my mood? Oh the dilemma!

So what are your favourites? Do you think music is age specific? And more importantly how old is too old?

Toddler taming..... Really

I have a toddler and anyone who has a toddler knows that they go through a stage commonly known as the Terrible Two's!!!!!!!!

And my toddler is trying to break the record for being the most terrible of two year olds! I think that there may be a secret organisation of 2 year olds and she is competing to be the Don! If this is the case trust me she is going to win!

She goes from cute and adorable to Tasmanian devil in a matter of seconds! No surface left uncluttered or covered in paint, food and god, I hope that's chocolate!

I'm not an inexperienced mother she is the youngest of 6 but she has found new and exciting ways to test my patience and make sure that underneath my bright red hair my real hair is actually grey!

And so now to the reason I wrote this post I decided to do a little search on the Internet for some tips on dealing with a particularly high maintenance 2 year old and I came across a book called Toddler Taming! Seriously all I can think of is standing there with an upturned chair in one hand whip in the other shouting back back! I know some toddlers are bad but really!

Anyway of course I ordered the book!

Though seriously I've always thought that toddlers behave this way because they're learning, they're learning about the world around them, learning about boundaries and it's our job to lead by example and show them how to behave.

But all that being said it never hurts to have some tips on dealing with those tantrums or how to get the green felt-tip out of everything! So what are your tips with dealing with toddlers?

I'd love to hear

An ode to Boobs!

I was lay there on the floor today, colouring with my daughter when I happened to look down and caught sight of something that was enough to make me scream in horror!


What  am I talking about? ........My Boobs! what used to be one of my favourite features, My glorious 36E boobs have somehow turned into saggy, crepey, scary, wrinkled old woman boobs!

When , when did this happen ? why didn't I notice?

My first thought was quick get me the number of a good plastic surgeon its time to get these puppies filled out and lifted then I looked at my gorgeous little girl and realised that theses were the boobs that fed her, that helped her grow, the same boobs that I have fed all seven of my children with, the same boobs that a few years ago when I found a small lump I was absolutely terrified I might lose so what am I doing even thinking about changing them or even enhancing them they are part of me they tell my story, well almost

Stop picturing talking boobs immediately and focus!!

Boobs , breasts, tits, fun bags, the twins, the girls, basoomas, bosoms call them what you will, all us women have them, they come in many sizes and shapes some of us love our boobs some hate them but they are ours!

The cosmetic surgery industries bread and butter is boobs, with most wanting them bigger or higher! personally although I've never had to worry about being small chested I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to walk around with 2 huge watermelons on my chest or being able to rest my chin on them! really is that attractive?

Can I just say to everyone who thinks its brilliant to have big boobs it took me a while to realise that they weren't my enemy, let me tell you! I developed early and actually had to wear a bra in my last year of primary school can you imagine the horror and the teasing! my life was unbearable, so I covered them up, I hid my assets until I realised that's what they could be!

 They're part of our package if you will, they're what helps entice our future partners in and they nurture our young so we should love them, embrace them, check them regularly and care for them

So although I am sad and disappointed that my milkshake may not bring all the boys to the yard! I am grateful that I still have them, I am happy that stood upright and wearing a good bra they still look pretty darn impressive and I shall stop lamenting the loss of my once pert full breasts and make sure that I'm never in a position that anyone will see them from the same angle that I saw them!

Although, if someone has come up with something brilliant and non evasive to help them be restored to their former glory I am more than willing to give it a try!


An Ode to Boobs by Pip Bishop

Dear boobs,
This heartfelt apology goes out to you all
For moaning you’re too big or moaning you’re too small
For wishing you didn’t hang like puppies in sacks
Or just disappear when we lie on our backs
For squashing you flat with a minimising cup
or those torture bras that push you right up.
Why is it always your bad points we mention
Like your inverted nips or your water retention?
Why don’t we love you as much as our men
Or the babies that love you all over again?
Maybe we’re scared to show you we care
In case... one day... you’re simply not there.

Boobs everywhere I salute you!

And then my mind went blank!

You would think with all that is going on in the world at the moment I would be able to come up with a thought provoking yet witty blog post

But can I ? can I heck as like! I am drawing a complete blank, not in the physical sense I don't even know how I would portray a blank something like this perhaps?

Get it? Blank Paper, pathetic I know!

I'm talking about  in coming up with something to write about kind of way !


Everyone and their Dog(I love that expression the paintings of C.M Coolidge always come to mind when I say it! I did mention I have a weird mind didn't I?) is writing about the phone hacking scandal and Rupert Murdoch, so I just didn't want to go there, too obvious for me.

So I'm right back to where I was a few days ago or was it longer? where there are so many topics that I want to write about that I can't seem to give my full attention to any of them!

So I have come up with a plan not a very exciting plan but a plan all the same I am going to go through all my started Blog Posts and guess what..Finish them!

It may mean that you get some pretty random stuff but i think it will help clear my mind and move on and perhaps just maybe even write something worth reading!

Silent Sunday

A weighty issue

Many moons ago I told you all (sounds like I have hundreds of readers! that would be nice by the way!) how I wanted to be fit and fabulous by time I'm forty! I called it my 3 F's challenge got myself all psyched up started wearing actual clothes other than jeans and a tee, brushed my hair at least once a day, when I can find the hair brush of course! I even wear make-up now and have bought myself new clothes but one thing that has been my nemesis is weight! Who am I kidding it's homemade cakes, bread and red wine that have been my nemesis or rather my lack of will power to stop eating them! I even joined WeightWatchers with the theory that if I was accountable to someone else I would be good and lose weight but the only pounds I've lost are the 20 quid a month that it costs me to weigh myself in front of people and be told I weigh the same! Ok not strictly true I've actually lost 7lb but that's in 9 weeks! that's how little willpower I have! And the amazing thing is I've doubled the amount of exercise I do in an attempt to get fit, I walk ALOT now , I Zumba I even attempted the gym yet my weight loss is pathetic which leads me to believe that I'm actually eating more than I was before or my own body is trying to sabotage me!

Couldn't be my fault after all!

Even illness didn't aid my weight loss I had the chest infection from hell, I'm still coughing but still managed to shovel enough food in to stop me losing any weight!

I've been off the wine for a week now because of the antibiotics but even that hasn't helped.

It just doesn't make sense!

So with the realisation that I turn 40 in just over a month I am going to step up my game make sure I note everything that I'm eating, food eaten while walking does count apparently as does food pinched off the kids plates! I know right who'd have thought it!

So I want to be accountable to all of you who read this, ask me how I'm doing, keep me in check remind me that just because wine is made from grapes it's not one of my 5 a day! And ask me in a weeks time if I've lost any weight!

It's been a while, I've missed you!

As you may or may not know it's been a little while since I did a real blog post this has been down to having the chest infection from hell and my own special brand of crazy!

Now I'm not talking sitting on the front lawn throwing poo at the neighbours that would the real men in White coats bringing me a special jacket to wear crazy! No, this is more the way my brain works and how I convince myself something is logical kind of crazy!

The few days before this chest infection really hit me I started five yes five different blogposts while I've been I'll I've attempted to start around another 5 but they were mostly a medication induced incoherent mess, nothing unusual there I hear you say

So anyway I kept started theses posts some of which were about Going to see Adele and being made to wait outside for 2 hours decided to put that little rant on hold and started one on the appalling start of public transport this then got sidetracked by a review of zaggora Hotpants which I received( thanks by the way Zaggora, I will start that review!) this made me think about my 3 F's challenge so I started a post on my failure weight loss wise then my cat went into labour and decided to eschew her nice warm safe place that I had ready for her and promptly gave birth in the middle of the kitchen floor which gave way to screaming from the men in my house who were in blind panic which started me on a post about men's inability to cope with something as natural as birth this also started me on a post about my 23 year old son moving back home after a breakdown of his relationship, funny expression that 'breakdown of relationship' conjures up images of AA type breakdown services turning up to repair your relationship and get you back on the road! Well in my head it does, see crazy! Then I felt ill, really ill which started me on a post about going to the doctors, which I never do or should I now say never normally do.

And now here is my special brand of crazy I convinced myself that because I kept starting posts and not finishing them that it made more sense to wait until I could decide which one to commit to and therefore I ending up with nothing,nada,zilch makes so much sense doesn't it? ......NOT!

And now that I've read all this back to my self I can't help wondering if I have ADD! Maybe I should start a post about it!

Silent Sunday

Ghost the musical

'Relive one of Hollywood’s most romantic yet tragic love stories live on stage with Ghost the Musical. Adapted from the 1990 Oscar Award winning film starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg, Ghost the Musical breathes new life into this classic story of love and loss.

The story follows Sam and Molly, who on their way back to their apartment one night are confronted by a mugger who leaves Sam wounded and dying in the street. Unable to leave Molly behind and let her go, Sam is trapped as a ghost between this world and the next and when he discovers that Molly is in grave danger he must do everything he can to find a way to communicate with her.

Enter Oda Mae Brown, a storefront psychic who claims to be able to hear the dead, but never has done. That is until Sam arrives looking for help and for the first time in her life she can hear the dead. Sam must convince Oda Mae Brown to listen to him and try and get her to talk to Molly and warn her of the danger she is in before it is too late.’

Many thanks

That was the press release I was sent to along with my tickets, but I can't think of many people that won't know the story of Ghost and I can't think of many people, especially people in my age group that didn't love the movie but would it translate well to a Musical that was my big question, I couldn't quite figure out how they would produce the necessary affects let alone put the script to song!

So last night I headed out to the Piccadilly Theatre to see!

This production features music and lyrics by Dave Stewart(Eurythmics) and Glen Ballard and it wouldn't be 'Ghost' if id didn't contain Unchained Melody!

The show is directed my Matthew Warchus, has set and costume design by Rob Howell, illusions are by Paul Kieve and Musical Supervisor and Arranger is Christopher Nightingale.

Lead roles in the London cast are Richard Fleeshman in the rile of Sam Wheat, Caissie Levy in the role Molly Jensen, Sharon D. Clarke in the role of Oda Mae Brown and Andrew Langtree in the role of Carl Bruner.

Well as I said at the start I wasn't sure how this would translate to music and I really didn't know what to expect but let me start by saying that the set, the visual affects and illusions are outstanding! I mean really outstanding, The use of computer imagery combined with traditional set is inspired, the illusions leave you wondering how? the changes seamless I really cannot rate the set highly enough, however unfortunately I felt that the show itself was lacking somewhat I can't quite put my finger on why though, The story didn't stray that far from the original, The cast can sing and I mean really sing! all had beautiful strong voices that were a pleasure to listen to unfortunately I didn't find the songs themselves that strong I didn't walk away from the theatre with the ability to sing one let alone hum the tune , lyrically I found some of them quite weak and the subway scene the poorest of all, the rap was just 'wrong' of course this is just my opinion and others may love it.

The iconic pottery wheel scene I feel was under played but the acting was good in fact all the actors did an incredible job.

The choreography was good I could see what the choreographer was trying to achieve some of the dancers however didn't seem at ease with the steps.

The real joy of the show for me was Sharon  D Clarke her performance of Oda Mae was Outstanding! and the voices of the cast rarely have I heard such strong voices, truly enjoyable

The final scenes and affects were spectacular.

All in all it was a good show with a full house and it received a standing ovation for me personally I'm glad I went, I did enjoy it but ticket prices what they are for this show if I had paid to see it I would have been a little disappointed.

If I had to rate this musical out of 5, I would give it a 4 but I have to say that is mainly for the visual affects and illusions and the singing.

But what I can say is I now want to watch Ghost the movie, ah, the late great Patrick Swayze *quietly hums unchained melody*

Age is just a number!

Hah! and once again Hah!


You're as old as you feel, Age is just a number but its very dependant on what that number is!

For example when you're small you celebrate every little increment in age you ask a small child how old they are and they will happily tell you how old they are down to the last minute, anything to get closer to that next birthday ask a 49 year old and they will tell you just 49 right up until the day before they turn 50! Me if you ask me how old I am I will tell you the truth but quite often I will be 21 with 18 years experience!

We celebrate our age milestones, becoming a teenager, sweet 16's, turning 18 then 21 then we start working up in decades and they can become anxious and far less enjoyable and far more difficult to deal with!

I'm 40 this year and I don't quite know how I feel about it, inside I still have the same feelings and insecurities I had as a 16 year old though outwardly to the world is a very different story!

Now the thing about turning 40 (brings a lump to my throat every time I say it accompanied by a panic of how did I get this old without noticing) for me is combination of wanting to celebrate , wanting to be made to feel special and enjoy this milestone mixed with oh god where did the time go , 40 is soooo old! How could I have got to this age without accomplishing anything but motherhood! Oh woe is me my life is over it's all down hill from here!

So today I'm asking you all how you feel about ageing? What do you think are the big milestones? What's the best age? And the biggest and most important question of them all, Does life begin at 40?

So please everyone let me know

Is it inappropriate?

I have a question that I need to put out there to the blogging world, How many Bloggers with children of an age that read your blog still talk candidly about sex and the such like?

More accurately your own sex Life? My god I can just see my children's expressions now, they freak out if we dare to kiss in public! "Eurgh, no PDA's, no PDA's we're going to go blind!" that's the usual response from my children so can you imagine the response if I dared to mention my sex life!

I may scar them for life!

Probably too late for the big teenagers, I'm sure I've already damaged them!

But this is my blog written for me and about me, should I be censoring what I write in fear or consideration of who might be reading it?

So I'm asking everyone who reads this to tell me , how far is too far? Go on don't be shy, I really need your opinions