An ode to Boobs!

I was lay there on the floor today, colouring with my daughter when I happened to look down and caught sight of something that was enough to make me scream in horror!


What  am I talking about? ........My Boobs! what used to be one of my favourite features, My glorious 36E boobs have somehow turned into saggy, crepey, scary, wrinkled old woman boobs!

When , when did this happen ? why didn't I notice?

My first thought was quick get me the number of a good plastic surgeon its time to get these puppies filled out and lifted then I looked at my gorgeous little girl and realised that theses were the boobs that fed her, that helped her grow, the same boobs that I have fed all seven of my children with, the same boobs that a few years ago when I found a small lump I was absolutely terrified I might lose so what am I doing even thinking about changing them or even enhancing them they are part of me they tell my story, well almost

Stop picturing talking boobs immediately and focus!!

Boobs , breasts, tits, fun bags, the twins, the girls, basoomas, bosoms call them what you will, all us women have them, they come in many sizes and shapes some of us love our boobs some hate them but they are ours!

The cosmetic surgery industries bread and butter is boobs, with most wanting them bigger or higher! personally although I've never had to worry about being small chested I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to walk around with 2 huge watermelons on my chest or being able to rest my chin on them! really is that attractive?

Can I just say to everyone who thinks its brilliant to have big boobs it took me a while to realise that they weren't my enemy, let me tell you! I developed early and actually had to wear a bra in my last year of primary school can you imagine the horror and the teasing! my life was unbearable, so I covered them up, I hid my assets until I realised that's what they could be!

 They're part of our package if you will, they're what helps entice our future partners in and they nurture our young so we should love them, embrace them, check them regularly and care for them

So although I am sad and disappointed that my milkshake may not bring all the boys to the yard! I am grateful that I still have them, I am happy that stood upright and wearing a good bra they still look pretty darn impressive and I shall stop lamenting the loss of my once pert full breasts and make sure that I'm never in a position that anyone will see them from the same angle that I saw them!

Although, if someone has come up with something brilliant and non evasive to help them be restored to their former glory I am more than willing to give it a try!


An Ode to Boobs by Pip Bishop

Dear boobs,
This heartfelt apology goes out to you all
For moaning you’re too big or moaning you’re too small
For wishing you didn’t hang like puppies in sacks
Or just disappear when we lie on our backs
For squashing you flat with a minimising cup
or those torture bras that push you right up.
Why is it always your bad points we mention
Like your inverted nips or your water retention?
Why don’t we love you as much as our men
Or the babies that love you all over again?
Maybe we’re scared to show you we care
In case... one day... you’re simply not there.

Boobs everywhere I salute you!