EscarNO

So would you pay for someone to deposit slimy mucus all over your face?

Get your mind out of the gutter, I'm not talking about some weird fetish....although that could be a whole other post!

What I'm talking about is the latest anti-ageing 'beauty' treatment brought to us by those kind people of Japan ( have we not learnt anything from Japanese game shows about their idea of fun!) that involves letting live snails slither their way across your face, apparently their mucus has powerful anti-ageing properties thanks to highly beneficial proteins contained in snail mucus.

But before you all run out to your back gardens and grab the nearest snail, these are no ordinary snails that are used in these delightful sounding facials no these are organically fed snails that once used on a client are are allowed to rest for 4 days, you know to recuperate from the shock of slithering over a humans face!

I think I'd need four days to recover from a snail slithering its way around my face eurgh I'm just shuddering at the thought.

Seriously will we do anything in the name of not growing old and so called beauty? and what's stopping anyone getting snails from their garden and starting up in business... I have tons of them in my garden, anyone fancy a facial?

Or how about a bird poo facial (again from Japan, just saying) or a bull semen facial and hair mask... how and why was this discovered to be beneficial and how do they get the semen ( insert confused and disgusted face here!)



Seriously what would you do in the name of beauty?

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician

Age is an issue of mind over matter.  If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.  ~Mark Twain

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw


Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.  ~Caryn Leschen

There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I'm sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.  ~Author Unknown


 I have had a rough few days when it comes to sleep, my 2 year old seems to have decided that sleep is indeed for the weak and her sleep pattern is all over the place the end result being a totally knackered me!


And when I get tired not only does it show in my movements and sluggish reaction times it shows in my face! Seriously I looked in the mirror this morning and thought 'why has my mum dyed her hair bright red, she's far too old for that' then after splashing my face with water and waking up a little more that was replaced with 'Shit, that's me!' Shortly followed by 'Oh My God, how can I possibly show my face in public looking like that? Bring on the blue rinse I'll pretend to be my mum until I've had the plastic surgery!'


"Quick someone get mummy the number for a good Botox place" is what I actually shouted but as is usual in my house anything I say falls on deaf ears!

So I stood there staring at this alien face in the mirror, looking at my dull skin and tired eyes and I wondered where have I gone? inside I feel the same, that's a good thing right? but on the outside some bugger has replaced my face and body with a saggy , melting down from the top, mess! seriously if gravity carries on like this there will be a pile of folded skin collecting round my ankles as I waddle down the street ( walking inhibited my saggy skin you see!)

And if all that wasn't bad enough I'm 40 this year! no longer in my 30's , 40!  deep breath Emma, in, out, in, out!

Ok, panic attack over , Isn't life supposed to begin at forty that's what they say isn't it? Someone please tell me it does and where I get started?


I know right now I'm over reacting a bit, ok, alot! but aging is hard I'm not really about to go for botox or plastic surgery, although if anyone's offering to pay I wouldn't say No, all in the name of a review of course!


On a good day when I've had sleep and I'm wearing make up I still look reasonably good , some would say Hot! ok by some I mean me but there's nothing wrong with a little self praise is there! but on a bad day like today I wouldn't even want to hazard a guess at how old I look and if you see me on one of these days neither should you!


But seriously they say you're as old as you feel, so why can't you look as old as you feel! wouldn't that be cool (accept for days like today) if all chameleon like, your face and body took on how you were feeling, you'd sure as hell make sure that you embraced life and had a positive outlook, wouldn't you?

But in reality we have to accept what we've got or artificially enhance or change it so how are you going to deal with aging? go under the surgeons knife or grow old disgracefully like me?