Dear Blog,
I know I've been bad and I've neglected you of late but I do love you honestly I do and thanks to the rather gorgeously haired Rose McClelland ( a recent follower) I was reminded quite how much, I know it shouldn't have taken a stranger to remind of my love for you but....well, that's just how it is sometimes.
So, dear blog if you'll have me back , I'm here and I will try harder to visit you and update you regularly!
All my love
Emma ( the mad rambler)
Showing posts with label my own little bit of crazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my own little bit of crazy. Show all posts
Wednesday, 8 August 2012
Monday, 9 July 2012
It's that time again
It's that time of year again when my birthday is getting closer and I start to get that ' woe is me, what have done with my life, what am I doing with my life and oh god look at my saggy boobs!' moments!
I do feel like I should me more together, more sure of what I want and where I'm going, I'm a mother for Christ's sake but in honesty I still have the same teenage insecurities hidden well under an air of mature confidence, of course any of my friends reading this are probably wetting themselves laughing at the idea of 'mature me' but I said it and I'm sticking to it so there! And yes I am poking my tongue out!
I wake up some mornings and think, oh god you're 41 this year, you're edging your way closer to 50! You're getting old, what's next the menopause, becoming a grandparent, where will it end? Well with death obviously it's inevitable but then I just hyperventilate!
My body is is fighting against my mind where I'm still young and can still wear anything that takes my fancy , the reality is my bingo wings are so bad that if I commit the sin of wearing a sleeveless top, one strong gust of wind and I'll be gliding through the air without the need for a hand-glider, maybe people will think I'm some kind of super hero! My boobs are so saggy I may need some kind of mechanical hoist to get them back up where they belong! I contemplate an uplift but surgery scares me so what is a girl or middle aged lady to do?
But that's the thing isn't it you can choose to grow old gracefully accept the card that life has dealt you or you can fight the ravages of time and end up looking like this....
I know which I'll choose!
How about you, are you growing old gracefully or are you going to fight it every step of the way?
What about in your head, are you really as old as you feel?
I do feel like I should me more together, more sure of what I want and where I'm going, I'm a mother for Christ's sake but in honesty I still have the same teenage insecurities hidden well under an air of mature confidence, of course any of my friends reading this are probably wetting themselves laughing at the idea of 'mature me' but I said it and I'm sticking to it so there! And yes I am poking my tongue out!
I wake up some mornings and think, oh god you're 41 this year, you're edging your way closer to 50! You're getting old, what's next the menopause, becoming a grandparent, where will it end? Well with death obviously it's inevitable but then I just hyperventilate!
My body is is fighting against my mind where I'm still young and can still wear anything that takes my fancy , the reality is my bingo wings are so bad that if I commit the sin of wearing a sleeveless top, one strong gust of wind and I'll be gliding through the air without the need for a hand-glider, maybe people will think I'm some kind of super hero! My boobs are so saggy I may need some kind of mechanical hoist to get them back up where they belong! I contemplate an uplift but surgery scares me so what is a girl or middle aged lady to do?
But that's the thing isn't it you can choose to grow old gracefully accept the card that life has dealt you or you can fight the ravages of time and end up looking like this....
I know which I'll choose!
How about you, are you growing old gracefully or are you going to fight it every step of the way?
What about in your head, are you really as old as you feel?
Tuesday, 12 June 2012
The Hobo awards
So this is how conversations in my house go from normal to the completely insane in less than five minutes my daughters and I were talking about the MTV movie awards all agreeing that Johnny Depp and Channing Tatum were the hi-light I mean seriously what's not to love about Channing Tatum I mean have you seen him!
When my daughter asked "what's that awards thing we have over here, the hobo award? I laugh and say no that's the MOBO awards a hobo is a homeless person her response after laughing was "ok but wouldn't the hobo awards be cool can you imagine the category's and the winners?" so we did! see what I mean, looks like my poor daughters think like me! There really is no hope!
So are categories are as follows
Most animals living on a single human being (lice do not count they come in under a separate category)
Won by chicken Joe who did indeed have a chicken, a squirrel, a rather disgruntled rat, a hedgehog, and a banana named Cleopatra, he said they weren't just company they had their uses which to be honest we don't dare think about! it was explained to Joe that a banana was not technically an animal but his response was rather unsavoury so we decided to let it slide!
Best tin foil head-wear
Was awarded to Bertha who had fashioned the Eiffel tower and a rooster into one stylish headpiece we didn't dare ask the inspiration for this but she did mention one rather fabulous night with a big footed French man!
Most lice on a single human being (see told you!)
This prestigious honour was awarded to Archibald who at last count had somewhere in the region of 4786 and thanked each and everyone of them for there help in his creative dancing that often earned him money!
Most creative use of cardboard
Goes to Len who had recreated the Parthenon using only cardboard and what we're hoping is glue
Most unusual item ever eaten
Goes to fittingly to Iron gut Owen who claims to have eaten a leather boot and some snails smothered in a rich sauce made from some mushrooms he found in ally behind a chemical waste facility he also mentioned that his dinner companions on that particular night were Marilyn Monroe and Buddha! we're thinking it had something to do with the mushrooms but you just never know!
And last but not least the lifetime achievement award for most places lived
Goes to Wayne the wanderer
Who has lived in an incredible 5978 places though in fairness 2978 were in one city so I'm still not sure if he deserves this accolade but he was the only one who had souvenirs from each place which he had cleverly fashioned into a rather stunning coat.
How about you what categories do you think should be in the hobo awards?
And I'm sorry if anyone thinks this is insensitive to homeless people it's really not intended that way, it really was just a bit of fun. homelessness is a serious issue and one which we all should be doing our bit to try and help those that are less fortunate than ourselves.
The following charities work with homeless in the UK and all need help and donations
Centrepoint
http://www.centrepoint.org.uk/
St. Mungos
http://www.mungos.org/
Crisis
http://www.crisis.org.uk/
Help the Homeless
http://www.help-the-homeless.org.uk/
These are just a few, there are many more so do something today!
 |
| For those who don't know, Channing Tatum is the one wearing clothes! |
When my daughter asked "what's that awards thing we have over here, the hobo award? I laugh and say no that's the MOBO awards a hobo is a homeless person her response after laughing was "ok but wouldn't the hobo awards be cool can you imagine the category's and the winners?" so we did! see what I mean, looks like my poor daughters think like me! There really is no hope!
So are categories are as follows
Most animals living on a single human being (lice do not count they come in under a separate category)
Won by chicken Joe who did indeed have a chicken, a squirrel, a rather disgruntled rat, a hedgehog, and a banana named Cleopatra, he said they weren't just company they had their uses which to be honest we don't dare think about! it was explained to Joe that a banana was not technically an animal but his response was rather unsavoury so we decided to let it slide!
Best tin foil head-wear
Was awarded to Bertha who had fashioned the Eiffel tower and a rooster into one stylish headpiece we didn't dare ask the inspiration for this but she did mention one rather fabulous night with a big footed French man!
Most lice on a single human being (see told you!)
This prestigious honour was awarded to Archibald who at last count had somewhere in the region of 4786 and thanked each and everyone of them for there help in his creative dancing that often earned him money!
Most creative use of cardboard
Goes to Len who had recreated the Parthenon using only cardboard and what we're hoping is glue
Most unusual item ever eaten
Goes to fittingly to Iron gut Owen who claims to have eaten a leather boot and some snails smothered in a rich sauce made from some mushrooms he found in ally behind a chemical waste facility he also mentioned that his dinner companions on that particular night were Marilyn Monroe and Buddha! we're thinking it had something to do with the mushrooms but you just never know!
And last but not least the lifetime achievement award for most places lived
Goes to Wayne the wanderer
Who has lived in an incredible 5978 places though in fairness 2978 were in one city so I'm still not sure if he deserves this accolade but he was the only one who had souvenirs from each place which he had cleverly fashioned into a rather stunning coat.
How about you what categories do you think should be in the hobo awards?
And I'm sorry if anyone thinks this is insensitive to homeless people it's really not intended that way, it really was just a bit of fun. homelessness is a serious issue and one which we all should be doing our bit to try and help those that are less fortunate than ourselves.
The following charities work with homeless in the UK and all need help and donations
Centrepoint
http://www.centrepoint.org.uk/
St. Mungos
http://www.mungos.org/
Crisis
http://www.crisis.org.uk/
Help the Homeless
http://www.help-the-homeless.org.uk/
These are just a few, there are many more so do something today!
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
Remember as far as anyone knows we are a nice normal family!
You know the way because it your life, your normality that you assume it's perfectly normal to everyone else until something or someone else reminds you it's not, well I thought I'd share with you a few snippets from my week so you can tell me if we're 'normal'(God I hate that word!)or not!
On Sunday we had snow, we don't get snow very often so I feel it is something to enjoy, to share! Apparently teenagers don't feel this way and didn't want to join us in the snow so after building a snowman with the 3 year old I thought if they won't come to the snow I will take the snow to them!
See what a caring, thoughtful mother I am! So the 3 year old and I gathered snowballs and set off into the house first on the hit list was the 19 year old who's response was "No mum! Are you mad? (I took that as rhetorical) and "aargh that's cold!" err yes of course it is it's snow!
The 17 year old laughed she is a lot like me, scarily like me some would say!
Then finally the 15 year old who was in her bedroom, the 3 year old and I managed to get in her room and throw the snowballs before she knew what was happening we were like ninjas! Her response "Why can't I be part of a nice normal family!"
I still think it was a good idea!
My children utter lines like "it's going to snow I can feel it in my armpits" the 17 year old
"I'm exasparated and doomed" the 3 year old! Through much laughter I ask "why honey?" her response "because I'm tired and I have so much to do!" She's 3!
"Mum I need to sing AT you" is a common one from the 15 year old she's a budding singer and puts her videos on you tube so perhaps not that odd but why never 'to me'
"Can you measure my face" the 19 year old
For some reason I have pictures of my nephew and a good friend balancing spoons on their noses and more bizarrely their ears on 2 separate and random occasions! Do I bring this out in people?
I once hid all the clean crockery and cutlery in an attempt to get the teenagers to wash up when I went out for the day! Normal right?
And just now as I type this the 3 year is looking through my wedding album complaining that she's not in the wedding photos even after all my explaining that she wan't born, she's not happy and has asked for the camera so she can make wedding photos of her own!
And now as I type this the 17 year old is running round shouting "I'm a duck!" whilst being chased by the 3 year old!
Someone save me now!
So in conclusion are we a nice normal family?
What's your family like? I need something to compare to or will that just make me cry!
On Sunday we had snow, we don't get snow very often so I feel it is something to enjoy, to share! Apparently teenagers don't feel this way and didn't want to join us in the snow so after building a snowman with the 3 year old I thought if they won't come to the snow I will take the snow to them!
See what a caring, thoughtful mother I am! So the 3 year old and I gathered snowballs and set off into the house first on the hit list was the 19 year old who's response was "No mum! Are you mad? (I took that as rhetorical) and "aargh that's cold!" err yes of course it is it's snow!
The 17 year old laughed she is a lot like me, scarily like me some would say!
Then finally the 15 year old who was in her bedroom, the 3 year old and I managed to get in her room and throw the snowballs before she knew what was happening we were like ninjas! Her response "Why can't I be part of a nice normal family!"
I still think it was a good idea!
My children utter lines like "it's going to snow I can feel it in my armpits" the 17 year old
"I'm exasparated and doomed" the 3 year old! Through much laughter I ask "why honey?" her response "because I'm tired and I have so much to do!" She's 3!
"Mum I need to sing AT you" is a common one from the 15 year old she's a budding singer and puts her videos on you tube so perhaps not that odd but why never 'to me'
"Can you measure my face" the 19 year old
For some reason I have pictures of my nephew and a good friend balancing spoons on their noses and more bizarrely their ears on 2 separate and random occasions! Do I bring this out in people?
I once hid all the clean crockery and cutlery in an attempt to get the teenagers to wash up when I went out for the day! Normal right?
And just now as I type this the 3 year is looking through my wedding album complaining that she's not in the wedding photos even after all my explaining that she wan't born, she's not happy and has asked for the camera so she can make wedding photos of her own!
And now as I type this the 17 year old is running round shouting "I'm a duck!" whilst being chased by the 3 year old!
Someone save me now!
So in conclusion are we a nice normal family?
What's your family like? I need something to compare to or will that just make me cry!
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
I need a little Gok (not a euphamism!)
As those of you who read my blog regularly know I have had a few went completely insane little issues about turning 40 last year somewhat of a mini midlife crisis if you will!
I have now come to terms with my age, "oh no you haven't!" oh yes I have! Well almost! Anyway I digress but apart from the weird physical joys of turning 40 , random black hairs growing out of my chin(I'm naturally light brown, I think, it's been a long time, how am I supposed to remember! Anyway if anyone can explain that please do!), random white hairs in my eyebrows, at this rate I'm going to be one of those women with the almost cartoon looking drawn on eyebrows, perhaps I shall paint on a look of constant shock or perhaps one eyebrow jauntily raised (can one raise ones eyebrow jauntily?) can't you just picture it! In case you can't I was thinking something like this .....
Or perhaps this....
or even this......
Actually I have completely digressed from what I wanted to say, what I wanted to say is that lately I find myself strangely drawn to comfortable shoes and not just comfortable shoes, strangely coloured comfortable shoes, shoes with padding, comfortable insoles, arch support, someone help me quick I need a Gok Wan, Trinnie and suzannah style intervention, I know they're wrong but I can't help it, I look at them and I say those words (oh god, I can't believe I'm going to publicly admit this!) "ooh they look comfortable!" so far I've resisted the urge to buy them but I do own several pairs of Birkenstocks , what can I say they're comfortable! But is this the slippery slope? Will I start buying trousers with elasticated waists (well they are comfortable!) wearing jumpers that match absolutely nothing! And I can't believe I'm saying this ........pause for dramatic effect...... A short perm because it's so much easier to manage!! Where will it end .... A blue rinse!
So Gok if you're reading this help me now!
I have now come to terms with my age, "oh no you haven't!" oh yes I have! Well almost! Anyway I digress but apart from the weird physical joys of turning 40 , random black hairs growing out of my chin(I'm naturally light brown, I think, it's been a long time, how am I supposed to remember! Anyway if anyone can explain that please do!), random white hairs in my eyebrows, at this rate I'm going to be one of those women with the almost cartoon looking drawn on eyebrows, perhaps I shall paint on a look of constant shock or perhaps one eyebrow jauntily raised (can one raise ones eyebrow jauntily?) can't you just picture it! In case you can't I was thinking something like this .....
Or perhaps this....
or even this......
Actually I have completely digressed from what I wanted to say, what I wanted to say is that lately I find myself strangely drawn to comfortable shoes and not just comfortable shoes, strangely coloured comfortable shoes, shoes with padding, comfortable insoles, arch support, someone help me quick I need a Gok Wan, Trinnie and suzannah style intervention, I know they're wrong but I can't help it, I look at them and I say those words (oh god, I can't believe I'm going to publicly admit this!) "ooh they look comfortable!" so far I've resisted the urge to buy them but I do own several pairs of Birkenstocks , what can I say they're comfortable! But is this the slippery slope? Will I start buying trousers with elasticated waists (well they are comfortable!) wearing jumpers that match absolutely nothing! And I can't believe I'm saying this ........pause for dramatic effect...... A short perm because it's so much easier to manage!! Where will it end .... A blue rinse!
So Gok if you're reading this help me now!
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