Well it is 3 F's I suppose!

So a while ago I set myself this challenge to be Fit and Fabulous by Forty and that time is almost here 4 days away in fact and I have achieved 3 F's! That's right I'm Fat, Fabulous and Forty! (well almost!) I know not quite the 3 F's I was going for but in the immortal words of Meatloaf (The singer that is, not the food, that would just be weird!) "2 out of 3 ain't bad!" and I have dropped a dress size.

But through all this my aim really was to get out of that rut that most mothers seem to end up in especially when you have a toddler of jeans and t shirts day in day out and saying that I am sat writing this in jeans and a t shirt! But they are a little more stylish and a size smaller so don't judge me!

All that being said I have learnt that a little time spend on myself does make me feel better, I now remember to brush my hair every day (if you know me you know what an achievement this is!), I wear make up more than once a month and I have a fabulous new hair cut and colour, I even shave my legs when I'm not getting them out in public!

And the end result is I feel more like 'ME' not just someone's mum, ok the diet never quite worked out, what can I say, I love to cook and I love to eat!

I have exercised more, feel a little healthier and intend to carry this on and if I lose a little more weight along the way that'll be great too.

So on Sunday I shall be just fabulous and forty and I'm ok with that! So now let's see if life really does begin at forty!

A weighty issue

Many moons ago I told you all (sounds like I have hundreds of readers! that would be nice by the way!) how I wanted to be fit and fabulous by time I'm forty! I called it my 3 F's challenge got myself all psyched up started wearing actual clothes other than jeans and a tee, brushed my hair at least once a day, when I can find the hair brush of course! I even wear make-up now and have bought myself new clothes but one thing that has been my nemesis is weight! Who am I kidding it's homemade cakes, bread and red wine that have been my nemesis or rather my lack of will power to stop eating them! I even joined WeightWatchers with the theory that if I was accountable to someone else I would be good and lose weight but the only pounds I've lost are the 20 quid a month that it costs me to weigh myself in front of people and be told I weigh the same! Ok not strictly true I've actually lost 7lb but that's in 9 weeks! that's how little willpower I have! And the amazing thing is I've doubled the amount of exercise I do in an attempt to get fit, I walk ALOT now , I Zumba I even attempted the gym yet my weight loss is pathetic which leads me to believe that I'm actually eating more than I was before or my own body is trying to sabotage me!

Couldn't be my fault after all!

Even illness didn't aid my weight loss I had the chest infection from hell, I'm still coughing but still managed to shovel enough food in to stop me losing any weight!

I've been off the wine for a week now because of the antibiotics but even that hasn't helped.

It just doesn't make sense!

So with the realisation that I turn 40 in just over a month I am going to step up my game make sure I note everything that I'm eating, food eaten while walking does count apparently as does food pinched off the kids plates! I know right who'd have thought it!

So I want to be accountable to all of you who read this, ask me how I'm doing, keep me in check remind me that just because wine is made from grapes it's not one of my 5 a day! And ask me in a weeks time if I've lost any weight!

Its actually working!

Last night my was my weekly weigh in at WeightWatchers, its the end of week 4 and last week as you know I had gained a pound and was a little upset (ok extraordinarily upset) and this week I had been very busy and hadn't really been keeping track of what I had eaten so I was more than a little hesitant in going to the meeting, My mind works like this, I've paid this money to go and have someone tell me what to eat because I haven't got enough will-power/commitment to do it by myself and if I've gained weight again then I'm just wasting my money so I'll just go next week and try extra hard this week, In my mind that all made perfect sense! but then I thought, ok, you're an idiot you're paying this money because you're too weak willed to do it by yourself so don't to it by yourself, go and face the consequences of your actions or lack of them! so I did! and I'm glad I did because wait for it ..............................................................I lost 3.5lbs this week! yay me! that's 8lb in total since I started, ok I might not reach my ideal weight by my big 4 0 like I had hoped but a lot can happen between now and August.

I think even though I hadn't tracked my points the whole process has made me a little more aware of what I'm eating so onwards and upwards or in my case hopefully downwards and lets see what I can achieve this week, I can honestly say that this little accomplishment has made me feel much more positive and motivated and with that in mind I'm off to do Zumba!!


Wish me luck xx

Gained a pound shame it wasn't cash

So as you know or don't know depending on whether you read my blog regularly! 10 weeks ago I set myself a challenge which I like to call my 3 F's challenge! Fit, Fabulous and Forty! Not neccessarily in that order! By my birthday in August,it's all about being fitter, thinner and having some seminance of style that doesn't just involve a pair of jeans and Uggs or Birkenstocks ( though I love my Uggs and Birkenstocks with all my heart and always will!)i realised it had become my daily wear so I thought enough is enough it's time for a change! And I have to a big extent done something about the fabulous side of my challenge, I now regularly brush my hair, actually moisturise and wear make-up ok not every day but seriously do you really need to wear make-up everyday? And today I went to the hairdressers and had a complete new look, check out my new profile pic! I love it!

But and it's a big butt! I am having a big issue with the weight loss, I love food! I do, I adore it! I love to cook and you have to try what you make, don't you?

So I joined WeightWatchers and this is the end of week 3 doing it and I have gained a pound, :-( ok a pound might not sound a lot to you but to me it's massive and upsetting and I feel quite sorry for myself :-( so what did I do, I comfort ate! I came in, had a bacon sandwich with cheese and tomatoes, then to add further insult to injury I found the bowl of leftover coffee buttercream that I had iced a cake with 2 days ago and I had a big old spoon full of that, ok 2 spoons or was it 3!*Hangs head in guilt and shame* See it takes a special kind of stupid to eat more food because you're miserable that you gained weight, because that really makes sense!

So now with that realisation I'm going to Zumba my ass off, eat properly this week, try my hardest to avoid wine well maybe not quite as much wine as usual and aim for a much better result next!

Wish me luck x

A loss of lbs and pounds

Last night was my weigh in for the end of week 2 at WeightWatchers and I have lost just 1 lb this week I know I should be happy that it's a loss but I was secretly a little dissappointed I guess I was hoping for another 4 lb weight loss but I did realise that I hadn't been quite as meticulous about recording everything that I had ate and I had baked a birthday cake and about a 100 cupcakes and of course I had to taste 1 or 3 to check that were ok, it would have been wrong not to wouldn't it!

Don't get me wrong I am taking WeightWatchers seriously, they're taking 20 quid a month off me after all but you have to live too , don't you? and life is too short to deny yourself everything, my 3F's challenge isn't just about losing weight by time I'm 40 it's more about being fit for the next forty years and looking more like the person I feel on the inside and I realised today while looking for an outfit for a wear to a reception (I will tell you more about this later) that I have a lot of clothes that are perfectly suitable for everyday wear and are far more stylish than my usual Jeans, t-shirts, Birkenstocks combo that I seem to have adopted as comfortable and practical and ok they are but and it's a big butt ( do you like the little play on words?) I have lovely stylish dresses that would be equally comfortable with the right shoes or sandals so why do I consider it wrong to wear anything other than jeans? Seriously I'm asking you?

I hope by time I'm forty I'm closer to finding the answers and losing the lbs quicker than I'm losing the pounds but for now I shall persevere and I'll let you know next week how I'm getting on! Xx

The big weigh in

Well as you know as part of my 3F's challenge I joined WeightWatchers and tonight was the end of my first week. I must admit that I was a little dubious of the whole thing, I thought how can paying to join a group to lose weight possibly work? Surely if you're ready to lose weight you just eat less and exercise more, well yes you do but that hadn't been working for me so I thought what have I got to lose! Apart from the 20 quid a month it costs me! Well let me tell you what I lost was 4.5 lbs this week, I am so happy!

Whether it's the thought of not getting your money's worth or the competitive side of me I don't know but for this week at least, it worked!

I hope it's not just a fluke and it's the start of something more positive but only next weeks weigh-in will tell.

More news on the fabulous part of my challenge I have dyed my hair bright red and it looks good if I do say so myself, I always used to have it bright red ( Rihanna obviously copied my style!) And my daughter was dying the back of her hair bright red and I thought why not, so I went for it before I get too old and look like mutton dressed up as lamb ( I love sayings like that, please tell me yours! ) it really brings out the green in my eyes and it makes me happy so right now, today, all is right with the world!

Same Challenge , different approach

So tonight in my continuing quest I decided to join weight watchers well technically I joined online yesterday,I did try and get some kind of sponsorship from weight watchers in return for reviewing them on my blog but alas and alack I didn't even get a response to my email! So I paid my £12.95 for my first month and then after that it's £19.99 a month and in return I get a membership card that entitles me to attend as many meetings as I want in a month and access to their online resources.

Tonight is my first meeting, I'm not quite sure what I was expecting before hand, images of Marjorie Dawes from Little Britain did spring to mind

But thankfully it was nothing like that! It was held at local school and by time I got there it was pretty packed , the weight loss industry is big money! I already knew that though we all crave to be thinner anyway I digress, I lined up to weigh in , was greeted by our lovely Leader Claire, nothing like Marjorie! and she herself is a weightwatchers success story having lost 5 stone and looks fab, then the part I dreaded the actual weigh-in! I weigh, not sure if I want to share this but a staggering 14st 7lb! I was given a personal record card which has some small achievable goals first of all which are losing 5% of your weight then 10% of your weight and then with your leader you choose your goal weight.

I was given my daily points total, and lots of literature and handy guides then Claire talked to us about this weeks topic, planning ahead, then we split into groups to discuss different scenarios that might hinder weight loss.

All in all a positive experience, so let's see if it pays off!

Just a little break from the norm

Monday is usually the day I give you an update of my 3F's challenge and quite frankly at this the end of week 8 all I can think of are another 3F's that I can't repeat in polite company or yours for that matter!

In case you were curious this weeks weight loss in a big fat ZERO! Now I have questioned myself greatly about all of this, by this point I had hoped to have lost at least 16lb and be waxing lyrical about how fabulous I felt but instead I infact weigh slightly more than my start weight but hey if you're going to fail do it big, right! so in all my questioning and thinking I have come up with either I wasn't in the right place emotionally to do this( I'm a serious emotional eater, pick an emotion any emotion and I will eat my way throughout it!) or quite simply I love cooking and eating!

The thing is I started this challenge not only to get myself out of a post baby fashion rut that has lasted 2 years you know the one comfort over style but I had also forgotten how to apply make-up and use a hairbrush let's be honest half the time I don't even know where the hairbrush is! Paint a pretty picture don't I? But to do something about my future health before I turn 40 in August, there are many health implications connected with being over-weight and with a little one to take care of I wanted to be in the best condition I can be and of course the idea of turning 40 sends me into a state of panic and hysteria , I'm not coping very well with the idea of turning 40, you'd never guess would you?

So seeing how absolutely fabulous Jennifer Hudson looks I have decided to join weight watchers! The first meeting is Thursday so from now on my 3 F challenge update will be on Thursday evenings.


Wish me luck and if anyone out there has tried or is doing the weight watchers pro points then get in touch! I love to hear your experiences and maybe we can support each other!

up and down like a Yo-Yo!

Its end of week 7 on my 3 F's challenge and after last weeks tremendous result I had High hopes for this week , pah (thats a sound of disgust by the way just in case you didn't know) well this week in true monumental style as only I can do, I have put it all back on! I mean who does that, me thats who, I really am good at this aren't I , hope you note the sarcasm!

It's all really making me question myself and my motivation, I had it in my head that I wanted to be this fit,(in both sense of the word) and fabulous creature by time I reached my 40th birthday in August and by the look of it thats not going to happen well at least when it comes to the weight issue.


So I guess I have to ask myself is the weight loss about my health or is some kind of weird midlife crisis to do with turning 40, I must admit it does course a mild outbreak of panic and palpitations at the the prospect of turning 40 , oh god I'm going to be 40, how did that happen? where did the time go? where's the paper bag so I can breathe slowly into it!

I think that hence forth I should concentrate on dealing with my issues (how american of me) and being happy and healthy and maybe just maybe when I'm not quite so obsessed with my weight it might just naturally drop at least a bit!

Woo and dare I say Hoo!

Well its the end of week 6 of the challenge I set myself and up until now I had more than let myself down on the weight loss side of things, I can't  blame anyone but myself for this predicament, I love cooking and I love eating not a good combination when it comes to weight loss but if you read my update last week you will remember that I said I had been watching my very slim, eats what she likes daughter and I was going to try and eat like her.........Well the results are in , drum roll if you please.............I've lost 4 count them 4lbs!!!! and I have eaten whatever I like just slowly and smaller portions , I am happy, amazed and motivated oh and did I mention 4lb lighter!



Perhaps I should patent it but what would I call it? suggestions please?

Week 5 result erm I'm looking for the word that sounds like I'm blowing a raspberry!

Ok it's official I suck! Well I suck at this whole challenge I've set myself, at least in terms of weight loss and so I have come to the decision that I either I have a medical condition that is hindering me losing weight or I eat too much and I need to change tactics!

Me thinks it may be the latter!

I have thought a lot about this whole weight issue and I've been observing the eating habits of those around me, not in a weird anthropologist kind of way with notebook and binoculars, don't worry I haven't quite made it to that level of insanity........yet! Just my nearest and dearest and in particular one of my daughters who can eat anything she likes and never gains a pound and it's not just down to youth, it really is all about portion size all week I've studied what she eats, how she eats and how much she eats, ok I am sounding like a bit of a weirdo but my discovery is worth it! You see she does eat whatever she likes just not that much of it, she rarely cleans the plate ( I'm from the "there are starving children that would be grateful of that meal, you better finish every last bit!" generation)and she eats very slowly, so this week I will be doing exactly that, eating like a teenage girl! If only I could look like one again!

So for this week my 3 F challenge is still on with some quite different tactics, I'll let you know how I get on, oh and in case you're wondering I gained 2lb so I'm now heavier than when I started! See what I mean I suck!

End of week 4 update

I am not a happy me in fact I'm a really angry me, angry with myself! In a big big way!!! I have not got into the spirit of the challenge that I set myself at all, I have let life get in the way I have made excuse after excuse for myself and the end result is disappointment, disappointment that I haven't even made a dent in what I hoped to achieve and disappointment in myself for letting myself down. *pulls very sad face* actually a little near to tears as I write this, I am also hormonal which doesn't help but I need to figure out why I'm doing this, when I set out on my 3 F challenge I was filled with positivity I thought by this point I would have lost a stone and feel wonderful about myself well the reality is I let myself down and feel awful about myself!

So the results for this the end of week four are..........no drum roll this week, maybe the death march or something equally macabre would be more fitting .......

Weight loss.........................absolutely zero , I haven't gained any though so that is something but in four weeks I have upped and downed and stayed exactly the same! Did you read my self-sabotage post? I think I might be on to something.

I actually can't be bothered to put the rest down in it's usual style and order it just doesn't deserve that kind of attention!

What I have done this week is bought myself some new clothes, I actually bought myself a gorgeous maxi dress that doesn't make people ask if I'm pregnant again! Don't you hate that? My usual response is no I'm just fat! Usually shuts them up! In fact the dress is actually really flattering so yay me on that one and I bought myself a gorgeous vintage sheer jacket in duck egg blue which actually looks fab with my slightly flared jeans so these are good things, I wish they were in a size smaller but they're not so my choice now is to actually stop making excuses, figure out why I'm self sabotaging and try to take getting slimmer and healthier seriously or Should I just accept who I am and just try to exercise more?

Come on people you tell me

Is this a case of style over content?

Well it's the end of week 3 of my Fit, Fabulous and Forty challenge and I have made a number of steps toward being a more put together me but I can't help but wonder does it all really matter? Surely it's the person on the inside that counts? How I fill my mind not my body? But that's the thing that makes all of this difficult you can't see what's going on on the inside it's the outside that gives that first impression after all.

All that being said the psychological affects of feeling good about how you look can't be denied, I don't get to go out in the evening very often as an actual grown up, feel sorry for me and invite me out please! But last week I went out dressed up, in heels and wearing make-up and I felt good, I looked in the mirror and I didn't recoil in horror and my darling little girl said " you look so beautiful mummy " and that made my night if not my year! So perhaps feeling like the effort toward appearance is somehow superficial is wrong, if you feel better about yourself and it increases your confidence then it can only be viewed as positive.

So on with the challenge, at least until my birthday anyway!

Weight lost ......................zero, zilch, nada very upset and annoyed with myself must try harder and I don't suppose going to a chocolate festival really helps!and at least I haven't gained weight.
Times at gym...................... Um I'm ashamed to say another big fat zero! But I have walked ALOT this week
Hair brushed ..................... Every day! I'm getting good at this one so hence forth I shall leave it off my list.
Make-up worn ..................... 4 count them 4 times! I have even moisturised every day and on a few occasions even put night cream on and let me tell you my skin is thanking me.
And now last but by no means least the style part of my challenge ........................ Ok hands up here I have worn jeans every day but in a different way if that makes sense,I've worn different styles of jeans, with more than just a t- shirt and I have only worn the uggs once and like I said I have even worn heels! My feet did not thank me for this I've spent 2 years at home with my little one and have had very few occasions where the wearing of heels were required.

I don't think I'm really getting into the spirit of my own challenge am I? This is a situation I have to rectify with some urgency, even with all I said at the start of this post when I weighed myself I was really disappointed that I hadn't lost any weight and I can't ignore that psychologically I felt so much better when I made an effort with my appearance and I'm pretty confident that I would have been viewed differently by others after all no matter what we say we do judge a book by it's cover even if what you see isn't always what you get!

So my real challenge this week is my weight,I must make a real concerted effort to not give in to temptation and to eat healthily!

Let's hope next week gives some better results x

BooHoo end of week 2

Well it's the end of week 2 of my challenge and I have made a few steps forward and as many steps back, I think I thought by willing it to happen and saying it out loud it would happen but damn it it looks like I'm actually going to have to work if I want to achieve anything!

So drum roll please end of week 2 goes something like this......

Weight lost...................... A big fat zero! I have actually gained 2lb hence the boohoo!
Times at gym..................... Um zero
Hair brushed..................... Every damn day baby! Even straightened it!
Make-up worn..................... Twice, see progress!
Jeans and uggs combo............. Wait for it....only 4 times I did wear jeans 2 Other times but once with converse and once with Birkenstocks so I'm not sure whether that counts but ta dah, I wore linen trousers one day so I see this a step forward!

I have to say that the psychological affects of doing my hair and make-up and actually looking in the mirror before I left the house were positive I think I walked a little taller and definitely felt better in myself so this is the way forward I just need to make the time and effort.

So it looks like this week I'm going to actually have to do something, I mean really do something so I must back away from the cakes and the leftovers and get my lazy unmotivated ass to the gym, I joke a lot but the reality is I'm not happy when I look in the mirror and the only person that can do something about that is me and possibly a good plastic surgeon!

So wish me luck offer me support and help me stay away from the cakes! Please really please!

3 F's challenge end of week 1 !

Well my Fit, Forty and Fabulous challenge to myself, didn't get off to the best start, it actually didn't start at all until last Monday because I'm just that motivated!
So update so far....

Weight lost .............2lb just imagine what I could have achieved if I'd tried harder
Times at the gym.........0
Hair brush found and hair brushed ...... Drum roll please......every day! I know, right!
Make-up worn.............0 but I did moisturise 3 times
Jeans and Uggs combo..... Every day even on those couple of nice days! but I did sort my wardrobe out, threw away all my old stuff so all I need now is someone to come along look at what I've got left and be brutally honest with me about what I should keep and basically give me a complete makeover, Anyone up for the job?

So all in all not a very good start though I am happy about the weight loss. So this week I have to make a real concerted effort to get my act together.

I know life shouldn't just be about what's going on on the outside and it does sound a little bit superficial but how you look does have a positive affect on how you feel so my homework for this week is to try and make an effort with my appearance and see it affects me mentally! That sounds slightly wrong but you know what I mean! And if you know me then you definitely know what I mean!

So what is the perfect size?

Since I started on my 3 F mission, Fit ,Forty and fabulous! I've been thinking a lot about self image,confidence and size and I can't help but wonder if it's not actually size (providing you're not obese) that makes you fabulous and sexy but actually the confidence in yourself and the ability to look in the mirror and love yourself!
Over the years I have had a constant struggle with my weight and my confidence for that matter and I have been a size 8-10 at my slimmest and a size 18 at my biggest and here's the thing that may or may not surprise you at a point in my life where I was around a size 14-16 and happy I got far more male attention than at any other point in my life even when I was out with my slim friends who I considered far more attractive.
It would seem that confidence is what makes you sexy the ability to feel happy in your skin but that's the hard part isn't it, everything out there ia aimed at losing weight and granted often when you lose weight you feel better about yourself and your confidence is boosted but there we are we're back to it being not so much about the physical size but the positive effect it has on the mind.
Maybe we should all focus a little more on being healthy, being able to look in the mirror without feeling sick and learning to love and accept ourselves.

Just a little thought for the day let me know what you think

The 3 F's

I am the 3 F's fat, forty(well almost) and frumpy but I aspire to another 3 F's Fit,Forty and Fabulous I think I need Gok for that last one! I have as they say 'Let myself go' I was once an in heels, full make-up, hair done kind of person but since my youngest was born 2 years I've been more of a uggs, is it clean?,did I even moisturise where's the hairbrush kind of person! I truly admire those women that manage to leave the house all made up, hair done clothes minus the porridge stains and looking all put together, I want to be one those women, I think.
The thing is I used to be one of those women.I used to have to look professional,attend meetings and spend some amount of time and effort on my appearance so as not to scare animals and small children but all that got lost and I want to find it again! I am a forty this year and that realisation has made me panic,I mean think about who I was who I am now etc etc etc call it a mid life crisis if you will, a desperate attempt to cling on to my youth but I used to turn heads, not physically that would be an odd job, what I mean to say is I would often receive compliments, now I hardly ever look in the mirror and quite scarily when I do I often see my mother looking back, when did that happen!
So I have made this pact with myself that I will,if not find me again at the very least find the hairbrush! Seriously though my intention is to lose weight, exercise, start wearing make-up when I leave the house and try and find some element of style again not just jeans T-shirt and uggs-winter, Jeans t-shirt and Birkenstocks-Summer, notice a pattern!
So where to start I have 5 months until my fortieth how much can I do in that time and with a limited budget? I just don't know but I have to give it a try, so first thing on my list is my hair, I have to try and fix the I know I'll try blonde fiasco! It's kind of Ginger at the moment and I love natural Ginger but mine is well orange! So in the morning I shall go out and choose what I hope will be a flattering colour, I think I'm naturally a brunette with red tones but it's been a long time so who know's!
Then there's the weight, that means I have to face 'The dreaded scales of doom!' but it has to be done! So no more chocolate brownies for me!
I think that will be enough of a start for now don't want to go crazy, it might scare the children who know's I may even wear make-up to leave the house!
So hopefully in 5 months times I will be the new 3 F's, Fit, Forty and Fabulous!