Only the Lonely

On the radio today they were talking about the subject of feeling lonely especially in a big city like London and it really struck a chord with me. I often feel lonely even though I have the children it's not quite the same as spending time with someone who's company you enjoy or doing something that entertains you.

When we're young it's all about friends, socialising and having fun but as we age things change, work commitments, partners and starting families all take priority and we can all too often lose contact with our friends and even though we are on the same path we can realise that we're lonely and then what? you don't want to burden your friends you think they're busy with their lives if they had time you'd arrange something, right?

Well if you are thinking like that you're probably not alone but admitting you're lonely ......well apparently its something we're not very good at, it's almost taboo especially if to the outward world it would appear you have no reason to be lonely.

But what do you do if you're feeling like this? Well you could place an ad in paper something like 'Lonely in London, seeking new friends for fun and interesting times' but really do you want to get the kind of responses that you're likely to get?! If the answer is no then just pick up the phone and see what your friends are doing, what's the worst they can say, They're busy, its not the end of the world.

Join a club, take a class, there's always something going on somewhere you just have to participate.

I met a lovely older lady last week who at 73 had just started piano lessons, dance lessons and joined a swimming club because she realised that although she had her family around her she was sometimes lonely so she did something about it!

what about you, do you ever feel lonely?

And then my mind went blank!

You would think with all that is going on in the world at the moment I would be able to come up with a thought provoking yet witty blog post

But can I ? can I heck as like! I am drawing a complete blank, not in the physical sense I don't even know how I would portray a blank something like this perhaps?

Get it? Blank Paper, pathetic I know!

I'm talking about  in coming up with something to write about kind of way !


Everyone and their Dog(I love that expression the paintings of C.M Coolidge always come to mind when I say it! I did mention I have a weird mind didn't I?) is writing about the phone hacking scandal and Rupert Murdoch, so I just didn't want to go there, too obvious for me.

So I'm right back to where I was a few days ago or was it longer? where there are so many topics that I want to write about that I can't seem to give my full attention to any of them!

So I have come up with a plan not a very exciting plan but a plan all the same I am going to go through all my started Blog Posts and guess what..Finish them!

It may mean that you get some pretty random stuff but i think it will help clear my mind and move on and perhaps just maybe even write something worth reading!

I'm a bit of a Biblio Invertabrate

I love reading, I will read anything and everything, no cereal box or leaflet is left unread in my house!

I can't help myself, maybe it's the words I love, I love plays on words, I love phrases, expressions I love all things expressed through word!

When we read, we paint pictures with our minds we use our imagination, probably why no film ever compares to the book!

But what really annoys me are literature snobs! Those that look down their noses at the likeS of us that might read a trashy novel over a so called literary masterpiece.

Don't get me wrong I love the classics but not all of them! I will admit that I haven't read all that I am apparently supposed to have read but I'm also not one of those people that would pretend I had!

All books have worth, they mean something to the author and given the chance to read it, there will be someone who enjoys it.

I have heard people knock the Twilight series of books but I would personally like to thank Stephanie Meyer, thanks to her my severely dyslexic daughter is never without a book or 5! There was a time that my daughter was quite literally scared of reading, it caused her such distress then came 'Twilight' wonderful, wonderful Twilight, my daughter heard so much about it she wanted to read it so I bought it, she slowly read through it finding ways to manage the words, she loved it so I bought the next one and then the next and this made her want to read different books , she developed methods of coping with the words, she gained confidence and now she, like me is never without a book.

I choose books that I think I will enjoy, I have no specific genre that is 'my thing' I read the blurb, I read book reviews and if I like the sound of it I buy it, I don't use the library I don't download a book, I like the physical act of holding that fresh tome in my hands, opening the first page , I love the look, the feel and I love my walls being lined with books.

My favourite book, well that's a hard one, it just seems so unfair to choose a favourite, no one would ask you to choose your favourite child would they?
There are so many books that I love and for different reasons, I love Terry Pratchett books because I love his use of guess what...... words! I love The Time Travellers Wife, A Thousand Splendid Suns made me cry and will stay with me forever, Of mice and men stays in my memory as my children like me have had to read it for school, A redbird Christmas makes me happy, I love books that make me laugh, I'm partial to sci-fi and fantasy and I like biographies.

And in telling you all that I have avoided choosing my favourite because I just can't!

Can you tell me your favourite? Or what books mean to you? I'd love to know!

I'm still here! Are you?

Well I'm still here! As I'm sure are most of you!

The thing is there was this tiny part of me who actually did wonder what if? And what if all the good have been saved without much fuss and all of us here are up for 5 months of torment!
Are we all here? Has someone you know suddenly disappeared? Quite literally off the face of the Earth, No, Are you sure?

People have made money from all this, People set up businesses to care for the animals left behind most with a no refund policy and of course you had to pay up front!
Seriously this is the site you have to go read it for yourself


http://www.eternal-earthbound-pets.com/


I couldn't stop laughing but it's serious not a joke at all

There is always someone out there willing to exploit someones religion or gullibility or are they?

So what are your plans for the next 5 months?

It's the end of The World as we know it

So apparently tomorrow is the rapture and then on October the 21st the world ends something to look forward to then!

When I did a search this is what I found

Judgment Day! May 21, 2011
And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man. Revelation 9:5
The End of the World October 21, 2011

---

Not sure what I think about this apart from "Damn I do have to face my 40th Birthday then!"

Seriously though what do you all think? I mean The Bible is open to interpretation isn't it? but if the world is going to end I'd much rather it happen quickly than have 5 months of torment but then again I have suffered teenagers so what's 5 more months of  torment!

You've got to be in it to win it!

That's what they say isn't it? As a way of making you feel like you could be The one and god forbid if you don't buy a ticket! What am I talking about .......The National Lottery! And more specifically the new euromillions draw which tonight is ............wait for it .............. A staggering £85 million!


What would you do with that amount of money? I mean they say money doesn't buy you happiness and money doesn't buy you love but with that amount of money being miserable and lonely would sure be a hell of a lot more bearable!

But seriously what would you do?


I've planned out what I'd do with my millions so many times, a new house, car, holidays, money to family and friends to make all their lives easier, money to my favourite charities and then the part that I think would give me the most joy doing something for the causes that are important to me setting up an organisation that really understands what it's like to be a child growing up in inner city London and does something to support families, children and parents without being condescending or throwing money at the problem, the money would mean that the right resources, support and the right people could really do something to help communities.

I'd also start a charity to help with education and course fees from personal experience I know how hard it is to try and find funding to do courses and get back into the education system.


And after all that I would splurge on all the things that I'd always wanted, come on be honest wouldn't you? And to all those people who say "oh the money won't change me or my life" well it better bloody change me! Otherwise what's the point of winning it!


So you've got to be in it to win it! So will you be buying a ticket? And what will you do if you win?


Oh and please remember me if you do, I'll be your best friend honest!

Can someone stop the room swaying please

So last night was wedding number 2! Just the reception this time.

And so started my adventure in to Essex! Typed the post code into the sat nav it told me 1 hour 17 mins ok so we're supposed to be there for 7.15 , what time do we get there 8 bloody 30! We left in plenty of time or so we thought but thanks to London traffic, The Woolwich Ferry ( why is there only ever 1 boat! More importantly why am I stupid enough to think that might be quicker than one of the tunnels!)and the sat nav telling us in it's lovely robotic voice "you have reached your destination" when we actually in the middle of a field! It took us 2 and half hours! Oh the joy!

So here I was in Essex now I've never seen The only was is Essex, it's never appealed to me so I only know what I've read and what my eldest daughter has told me about it but let me tell you there were tango'ed people a'plenty! Now I'm all for a subtle natural looking fake tan but why would you plaster it on until you look like a magahony sideboard! Each to their own though.

The venue was actually really nice and there was a free bar! I know dangerous right, I mean it would be rude not to drink when they provided so kindly for their guests and I didn't have to drive home so I had 5 or 6 G&T's, just to be polite of course!

I have a slight hangover this morning and can't find the mute button for the kids but all in all it's been a lovely weekend!

Regrets I've had a few

It's funny I always tell people that it's better to regret the things you've done than to regret never having done them, well guess what I don't take my own advice, big surprise huh? Don't get me wrong I've done plenty of things to regret oh and I mean some really big stuff too but there are so many things so many things that I haven't done for me that I regret I guess it's down to fear of rejection, fear of failing, complacency or just plain old laziness the thing is I haven't done them.
So how do I change that at this stage in my life? Is it too late or is it never too late? How does one get over those fears that hold them back? So many questions so so so many questions my head just might explode! Well not literally but you know what I mean.
What is it they say "just take the bull by the horns!" well I was never very good with animals and that sounds bloody dangerous to me so I think I need to make a list and just try and go for it, one of my never done regrets is writing I have always wanted to write a book and I've had so many ideas and started so many times but I've just lost the confidence along the way and thought who want to read this anyway but maybe I just need to do it even if no one ever reads it at least I can say it's a regret that I had the courage to do!

So what is the perfect size?

Since I started on my 3 F mission, Fit ,Forty and fabulous! I've been thinking a lot about self image,confidence and size and I can't help but wonder if it's not actually size (providing you're not obese) that makes you fabulous and sexy but actually the confidence in yourself and the ability to look in the mirror and love yourself!
Over the years I have had a constant struggle with my weight and my confidence for that matter and I have been a size 8-10 at my slimmest and a size 18 at my biggest and here's the thing that may or may not surprise you at a point in my life where I was around a size 14-16 and happy I got far more male attention than at any other point in my life even when I was out with my slim friends who I considered far more attractive.
It would seem that confidence is what makes you sexy the ability to feel happy in your skin but that's the hard part isn't it, everything out there ia aimed at losing weight and granted often when you lose weight you feel better about yourself and your confidence is boosted but there we are we're back to it being not so much about the physical size but the positive effect it has on the mind.
Maybe we should all focus a little more on being healthy, being able to look in the mirror without feeling sick and learning to love and accept ourselves.

Just a little thought for the day let me know what you think

Procrastination by another name is Life!

So I haven't done any of the things that I set out to do yesterday, well not strictly true I did head out to buy a hair dye to finally bid farewell to the orange that is my head but when I got out the weather was so lovely that all I could think about was doing the garden so I thought I'll do that then weigh myself, do my hair etc but of course the garden took longer than expected and then I thought I'd better feed the children, they had that may round on each other and eat the weakest look! so I had to do something fairly quick to appease the savage beasts and a hungry vegetarian so I rustled up this which was quick( if you have the ingredients indoors) and extremely tasty, I've called it a Italian tart but that reminded me of a friend from school so the kids called it pizza tart so take your pick!

Ingredients

1 pack puff pastry
1 jar sun dried tomato pesto
1 onion
1 medium sized courgette
1 ball mozzarella
And some grated cheddar to taste

Heat oven to 200c

You just roll out the puff pastry to an oblong the size that will suit your family or baking tray! Pop the pastry on a baking tray then leaving about a 2cm border all around the pastry base spread on the pesto,thinly slice the courgette and lay that on top, next the same with the onion then finally I roughly break up the mozzarella and sprinkle it on top along with the
grated cheddar. Pop it in the oven and bake until golden in my oven around 20 mins.

I served it with new potatoes and spinach it was lovely and for all the carnivores out there it would be lovely with pancetta on top too I know this because my one daughter cried where's
the meat? And I told her there was some pancetta in the fridge if she was that desperate, she was! She dry fried the pancetta and put it on top, it was really good! So next time I'm going to do with meat one without.

So you see sometimes it's not procrastination, it's life getting in the way but I will weigh myself today and I will dye my hair although the sun is shining and there is a bit more work to be done in the garden ......


I will add a pic later honest,using my iPad to write this and can't get anything to sync with it because technology is not my friend!

Never enough time

Time is a funny thing isn't it, there's just never enough of it, not enough hours in the day, not enough days in the week, the day flies by, the week flies by, the year flies by but most upsettingly the years fly by and before you know it you're wishing that you'd done more,that you'd achieved more, that you'd made better use of your time!
And there's the thing, we take time for granted, 'there's always tomorrow' isn't that what we all say and we procrastinate and procrastinate and before you know it that thing that we were going to do tomorrow is forgotten left in the passages of what, time!
Time waits for no man, a time to live and a time to die, live each day as if it were your last, carpe diem, the sands of time we all know all those adages it's all about time so how and when do we slow down and enjoy our time? I envy those rare individuals you can just relax and enjoy what life has given them, for me I wake up and start thinking about what has to be done today, I make lists and think I just don't have enough time to do all that, I get upset if by the end of the day I haven't completed all those mundane tasks that just need to be done and I complain about having no time for me and I wonder if I have enough time left in my life to do any of the things I'd like to do.
I have no answers, I don't know if it's possible to change my ways and embrace each day and not thing about time, time spent, time wasted etc etc but I do know that I have used the word time 15 guess what times! I wonder how much time(16) that took me and I wonder how many times all of you think about time(17) and what you think about it all? Please let me know I am really interested in your thoughts x